Pirates of Neopia: Curse of Maraqua
by Echos in my head
Summary: I'm back! What do you get when a supermodel and a foreigner pirate join forces with the Little Mermaid sisters to save the undersea kingdom from a Davey Jones wannabe? You get Echo's classic parody of this Pirate's of the Caribbean based story! Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Pirates of Neopia: Curse of Maraqua

_Hey, it's Echo, here with my (possibly) eagerly anticipated Curse of Maraqua parody! WOOHOO!_

Disclaimer: I do not own- wait...why am I writing a disclaimer? You know this crap already.

Intro.: Oh God, it's parody #2. Brace yourselves!

So, this is my parody of Curse of Maraqua. Like the title? The title itself is a parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Has anyone else noticed the similarities between the Pirates and CoM? It'll become more apparent as you read along, in ways you're only beginning to suspect. Also, when looking through the (ancient) parodies, I noticed that _none_ of the CoM parodies are finished! And I thought, "What the hell?" So I _will_ finish this parody. _I will_. Crap, this is a long intro... Any way, one more thing. This story has some recurring jokes and other things that will _only_ make sense if you've read my last story: The Desert's Ruin or the Brightvale Plot. So, you should go back and read that first if you haven't already. If you aren't sure how to find it (for whatever reason), here's how:

1) Read all instructions before attempting them.

2) Scroll to the top of the page.

3) Click on my user page "Echos in my head".

4) Scroll to the bottom of my profile.

Click on the link that says "The Desert's Ruin or the Brightvale Plot"

6) Read it.

Easy enough?

Chapter 1

Me: I'm back! Your favorite unstable Neopets Fanfiction writer named Echos in my head! At least, I hope I am...

Armin: There can only ever be one you, Echo.

Me: ...Since I can't tell if that was a compliment or an insult, I will let that slide. So, the usual rules still apply. Sarcasm is in bold, frying pans rule, I am still unstable, Armin still works for me, and narrating by my side is-

Armin: Shadow? *_hopeful_*

Me: Nope!

Armin: ...What?

Me: Eh, I let Shadow have a break, and I let her younger sister help me this time!

Armin: So that means...

Me: Yep! Narrating by my side is my pet usul, Fireinmyheart, better known as Fire!

Fire: Hey Armin!

Armin: Um, hi?

Me: Now listen... *_lowers voice_* Fire is a bit...unusual. In the sense that she's almost _nothing_ like me. Like super girly. And kinda annoying at times. And sometimes she doesn't shut up.

Fire: *_looks around my office_* Nice place. *_sees a giant cage_* What's _that_ for?

Me: People who try to kill me.

Fire: ...Does that happen a lot?

Me: So far once.

Fire: That's _really_ weird.

Me: So...I should start this parody, shouldn't I?

Fire: Pretty good idea.

Me: Alright!

_A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away-_

Fire: Echo, what was _that_?

Me: ...A voiceover.

Fire: But this isn't Star Wars...

Me: What? *_looks at my papers on my desk_* Crap! Who left these here?

Armin: *_looks at them_* These look like the same papers as there were in the last story...

Me: *_headdesk_* That's because a piece of paper tends to look the same as any other, Armin...

Fire: Can we get this story going, I have an appointment at the Beauty Salon in a few hours!

Me: _*eyebrow raise*_

Fire: What? Usuls like to be groomed.

Me: *_sigh_*

_Our story begins..._

Fire: Echo?

Me: What?

Fire: _That's_ the beginning?

Me: ...Yeah.

Fire: Can't it start something like, "Many years ago, on the beautiful shores of Krawk Island"?

Me: …

Fire: _*looking at me_*

Me: Fine.

_Many years ago, on the beautiful shores of Krawk Island-_

Fire: See, I like that better. It puts a pretty image in my head-

Me: Fire, do you want to get to your appointment or not?

Fire: _*shuts up*_

Me: That's what I thought.

_Many years ago, on the beautiful shores of Krawk Island, two young friends were playing on the beach. Ever mischievous, they began to dare each other to do foolhardy things..._

_In a small fishing village, there lived a young usul named Garin._

Fire: HOLY SHIT!

Garin: What?

Fire: You're a _guy usul_! OMG THEY _DO_ EXIST!

Garin: Oh my God, you're right! *_kinda stops walking in surprise*_

Me: *_headdesk_*

_He was known for always getting into trouble, usually urged on by his best friend Jacques._

Jacques: Go on, climb that mossy cliff! I'll watch for grownups!

Garin: Wait wait wait..._Jacques_?

Jacques: What?

Garin: You're French?

Jacques: *_facepalm_* Garin, we've known each other for twelve years. You should have known that I'm French by now!

Garin: *_grinning suddenly_* Hey Jacques? Wanna hear a joke?

Jacques: Sure, what?

Garin: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your front yard?

Me: Wait, Garin, is this the joke from the beginning of Stand By Me? Because that joke is _really_ offensive and inappropri-

Garin: Shut up Echo.

Jacques: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your front yard?

Me: Oh fuck. *_hides behind desk*_

Garin: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog is pregnant! XD *_LMAOing_*

Fire: o.0

Armin: Jesus Christ!

Me: *_looks up from behind desk*_ Like I said. Offensive and inappropriate.

Jacques: *_deathglare_*

Garin: *_stops laughing_* What? Didn't you think that was funny?

Jacques: *_repeatedly frying pan whacks Garin*_

Garin: Ow! Stop it!

Jacques: Say you're sorry!

Garin: I'm sorry! _I'm sorry!_

Jacques: _*puts away frying pan_* Don't make fun of the French!

Me: I'll keep that in mind.

Fire: *_still o.0*_

Jacques: Are you gonna climb the cliff or not?

Garin: I'm a reckless twelve year old on the edge! Of course I am! *_goes to climb cliff*_

Jacques: *_mutters to self*_ Idiot.

Garin: *_climbing_* Usuls are great at climbing, we're squirrel based!

Fire: Hell yeah!

Garin: *_slips on moss_* AAAHHH! JACQUES! HELP!

Weewoos: Just sitting around and watching. Nothing to see here people. Move along.

Jacques: _*calls up to Garin_* Hold on! I'll find someone! *_turns around and takes his time finding help, 'cuz he's still angry about the French joke_*

_As he hung between life and death, Garin noticed someone looking up at him..._

Garin: Say what? *_looks down*_

_It was a beautiful young sea-aisha. Somehow, her gaze gave him the courage to hang on..._

Garin: Whoa! Hot chick! Must...hang...on...must..show...off... *_attempts some pull-ups*_

Aisha: ...What the crap is he _doing_?

Jacques: _*returns with help*_ We're coming!

Garin: Oh finally!

Old Techo and Acara People: *_help Garin up*_

_Garin glanced back for one last look at the beautiful creature. Then, she was gone..._

Garin: Crap! I must have looked like a total pussy!

Jacques: Better luck next time, dude.

_The aisha had defied King Kelpbeard's strict order to never mix with the surface dwelling folk. Probably because she was going through her "rebel phase"..._

Aisha: I'm so badass! Yeah, I _looked_ at a guy. Wait 'till I tell my friends about _this_!

Me: Flashback time!

_Not long ago, the city of Maraqua had been destroyed by a pirate's curse. Kelpbeard, king of the undersea realm, saved as many Maraquans as he could. He returned many times in search of survivors...and on one such journey he found two sisters named Isca and Caylis. The king took the sisters to a make-shift refuge where he was gathering survivors of the disaster._

_As the sisters grew, Isca began having vivid dreams where she foresaw things that helped the Maraquans avoid peril._

Isca: King Kelpbeard! Sell all your BBB stock while you can! It's gonna crash!

Kelpbeard: I'll send out word immediately!

Gnorbu Servant: *_runs in*_ Sir! Somebody killed Mr. Boddy!

Isca: It was..._ *dramatic pause*_ Professor Plum in the Kitchen with the Lead Pipe!

Gnorbu Servant: Thanks miss! *_leaves_*

_The king praised Isca and often called on her for advice in troubling times..._

_Caylis felt neglected as her sister's talent grew and the king continued to favor her..._

Caylis: *_muttering to self_* Stupid bitch. *_imitates_* Oh, look at me! I'm Isca! I'm so pretty and nice and everyone loves me! I have stupid dreams that I tell to the king and I don't give two shits about my lame-ass sister-

Shoyru Servant: Oh crap, she's going crazy again!

Caylis: I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY!

Shoyru Servant: *_injects Caylis with a sedative*_

Caylis: *_lays on the ground with this creepy smile on her face*_

_Um...yeah...She began to have nightmares of terrible disasters that would always come true..._

Isca: AAAHHH! ROCK FALL!

Caylis: Hey Isca, I had this dream where- *_sees giant rock that crushed their city_* ...I guess you already know.

_The Maraquans began to feel that Caylis was causing these calamities..._

Maraquan Kyrii: Bitch! Because of you, there's an oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico!

Caylis: That's the BP oil spill, man, that happened a _while_ ago.

_Eventually, the king had to send Caylis into exile to protect his people..._

Kelpbeard: Begone! Do not return!

Isca: Your Majesty, no!

Kelpbeard: She has caused too many problems!

Me: You ever think that she _predicted_ these natural disasters and that your actually putting your people into _more_ danger by sending her away, because now you have no way of knowing what will happen?

Kelpbeard: A risk I'm willing to take.

Isca: *_teary eyes and trembling lip*_

Kelpbeard: That doesn't work on me.

Isca: *_stops_* Crap.

_Nothing has been seen of her since, but sometimes when the sea is quiet you can hear her mournful sobbing from far away..._

Caylis: *_crying_* Life's so unfair, man. Why? Why must life be so cruel?

Me: Don't go all emo on us, I need you alive.

_In secret, the Maraquans began building a new city where they could be safe from outsiders..._

Me: Okay, who designed this city?

Some guy in the crowd: _*shifty eyes*_

Fire: What's wrong with it? It's so pretty!

Me: Fire, the city is made out of coral and bubbles. How is this made to protect _anyone_? At all?

Fire: Well, beauty is pain.

Maraquans: *_uncomfortable, now that they think of what that may mean*_

_But Isca's vivid dreams still came to her, and often they included the face of the young usul..._

Fire: Obsessed much?

Isca: *_glare_*

_And so our story begins..._

Me: And this chapter ends!

Fire: Echo, you _really_ need to not do that.

Me: What? You mean the cliffhangers? _Everyone_ loves cliffhangers!

Fire: You don't.

Me: Well, I'm a crazy liberal/hypocrite.

Armin: *_mutters to self_* Ain't that the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey, it's Echo. Glad you're all enjoying the parody so far!_

Chapter 2

Me: *_sitting at my desk with this weird expression on my face*_

Fire: _*waves hand in front of my face_* Hello? Echo?

Armin: Crap. What is it now?

Fire: I think she's, like, hypnotized or something.

Armin: _*examines my expression_* Hm...This should help. *_frying pan whacks me*_

Me: *_blinks and shakes my head_* Ow.

Armin: Echo? What the fuck was _that_ about?

Me: Oh, I was trying to see how long I could go without blinking, and I guess I fell asleep or "went into the zone" or something.

Fire: *_takes out Guinness book of World Records_* The longest anyone has gone without blinking is...Shit, that's not in here!

Me: What? Gimme that...*_takes the book_* They do not keep records of voluntary sleep deprivation because they don't want people to suffer its effects. Well _that_ was a waste of time! *_throws book over my shoulder_*

Armin: Don't you have a parody to write?

Me: Oh right!

_A pirate's life...Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum._

_Now older and supposedly wiser, Jacques and Garin have chosen the life of a pirate, rather than a good honest living as their parents had hoped..._

Garin's Mom: *_crying_* I _told_ you we shouldn't have sent him to public school! All those bad influences all around!

Garin's Dad and Jacques' Dad: *_both sick and tired of their wives bitching all the time*_

Jacques' Mom: *_also crying_* And my son, 'e could 'ave been a lawyer or a docteur!

Fire: Why is she talking like that?

Me: She's french,** genius.**

_The Black Pearl is the most terrifying ship ever to sail the seven seas-_

Garin: Um, there's five seas in Neopia, and what's with this "Black Pearl" thing? It's the Black Pawkeet!

Me: Pirates of the Caribbean reference.

Garin: *_has no idea what I'm talking about*_

_The Black Pawkeet is the most terrifying ship ever to sail the five seas...whose captain is none other than Garin, who loves everything about being a pirate..._

Garin: *_hanging onto the ship's rigging_* ARGH! A pirate's life for me!

Neopian Paparazzi: Look over here Garin!

Garin: *_looks their way and strikes a pose*_

_Also, he took the job of a supermodel. He was well received (after people got over the mindfuck of him being a male usul), and this resulted to having camera crews on his ship, which he wasn't too happy about._

_He lead his crew along with his first mate Jacques, his best friend from childhood who had grown to embrace his French roots..._

Jacques: Garin? (pronounced the French way, "Gah-r-uhn"...sorry, I'm total crap with pronunciation...Just think "Garin" with a French accent...Think _everything_ Jacques says with a French accent.)

Garin: What?

Jacques: Zere 'as been a sighting of a wedding on ze port bow side.

Other Crew Members: ...What?

Garin: He said there was a sighting of a wedding on the port bow side.

Techo Pirate: Oh, I didn't understand. You know...the accent...

Garin: It was perfectly clear to me.

Me: And me.

Wocky Pirate: Well, Garin's known Jacques for years and must have gotten used to it. And as for Echo...

Me: Hell, I _speak_ French. And I've been around French people for a long time.

Jacques: Can we get back to ze wedding?

Other Crew Members: ...What?

Garin: *_facepalm, moves to port bow*_ What a splendid party! It's time we paid them a visit, dontcha think?

_And they go over there..._

Garin: *_jumps off boat, holds sword_* We couldn't help but notice your lovely wedding. *_smiles at cameras*_

Neopian Paparazzi: *_snap pictures*_

Garin: Now if you don't mind, we'll be relieving you of your heavy trinkets-

Jacques: Sacré Bleu! 'annah and Kanrik?

Usul Bride: *_hides her face*_ Crap, they're on to us!

Gelert Groom: *_also hides face, jumps into a conveniently placed red convertible_* Hop in!

Usul Bride: *_jumps in and throws her bouquet over her shoulder as they drive away*_

Uni Bridesmaid: *_catches it_* Hey, I caught it! :D

Armin: Déjà-vu...

Garin: ...Um, yeah. So...hand them over... *_holds out hand*_

Grarrl: *_taking off his rings and watches and stuff_* You fools! You shouldn't be doing this!

Cybunny: *_taking out her money_* You had better get away from here fast before HE *_lightning crash_* catches hold of you!

Garin: Don't worry my pretty! I-

Camera Crews: Garin! Look over here!

Garin: _*sighs, then turns and smiles for the cameras*_

Camera Crews: *_takes pictures*_

Garin: This is really getting on my nerves. Anyway, my ship can outsail anything in that water. Now hand over that necklace too!

Cybunny: *_removing necklace*_ You fool! You have _no_ idea who rules these waters!

Jacques: We're not scared, leetle lady. Now hand over ze loot.

Cybunny: ...What?

Me: *_facepalm_*

Garin: *_sigh_* He said, "We're not scared little lady. Now hand over the loot."

Cybunny: Oh. *_throws necklace at Jacques_*

Jacques: *_gets hit in the face with the necklace_* MERDE!

Garin: ...Okay, I don't know what that means...

Me: He said "shit" in French.

Garin: Oh, m'kay. Now hand over those presents too!

_Garin doesn't notice the red Crokabek above him...oh damn..._

Cybunny: Once HE *_lightning crash_* hears of this, you won't see another sunset!

Crokabek: _*flies off*_

_The celebration went on far into the night..._

Buzz Pirate: *_inebriated_* Argh, I be a pirate! All hands on deck! Land ho! Yo ho ho and a bottle of- *_throws up_* Ew...

Jacques: *_eye roll_* And zey say that ze French drink too much!

Buzz Pirate: ...What?

Jacques: *_starting to get annoyed*_

Garin: *_walks by with a couple of beers. He is also slightly drunk_* Hey Jacques! Buddy! Wazzup man? Here, have a drink! *_hands him beer*_

Jacques: Are you sure zat zis ees a good idea?

Garin: _*takes a swig*_ Hey, lighten up dude! This is a _good_ time!

Jacques: ...

_Meanwhile, not far away on Scurvy Island, news of Garin's raid on the wedding party had arrived..._

Crokabek: *_flies onto a ship labeled "Revenge" and lands on a green lupe's shoulder*_

_The legends call him Captain Scarblade,*lightning crash* but no one dares speak his name for fear of attracting his attention-_

Fire: But Echo, _you_ said his name!

Me: Oh crap, you're right! *_panic mode*_

Armin: *_sighs, takes out frying pan for the second time this chapter*_

Me: *_sees frying pan and stops_*

_Scarblade *lightning crash* was quite obviously a Davey Jones fan, you can see it almost everywhere; the filthy ship, the green beard (not so much tentacles as hair, but you get the idea), the "I rule the seas" persona-_

Scarblade: *_glares at me_* Are you _quite_ finished?

Me: Alright, alright, I'll stop.

Scarblade: Where was I? Oh right. *_clears throat, then begins to choke_* Hairball! Hairball!

Armin: *_goes over to him like the Heimlich Maneuver expert he is and does the Heimlich*_

Scarblade: *_coughs up this really gross, slimy hairball*_

Fire: *_flailing and shrieking_* EW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!

The Guy Who Swabs The Decks: *_sigh_* My work is never done...*_mops away the hairball*_

Scarblade: Back on track, I will find this Black Pearl-

Fire: It's "Pawkeet"!

Me: You're not Davey Jones, now say your lines!

Scarblade: Fine, bitches!

Me: *_flips him off*_

Armin: Oh my God, HOW MANY MORE TIMES ARE WE GOING TO GO OFF TOPIC?

Scarblade: *_sigh_* I will find this Black Pawkeet and send her and her crew to the bottom of the sea! MWAHAHAHA!

_And so Scarblade *lightning crash* and his crew set sail with the next tide. That night, Garin once more dreamed of the beautiful aisha he had seen as a child..._

_In the dream..._

Isca: *_rises from the waves*_

Garin: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHERE DID _YOU_ COME FROM?

Isca: Done freaking out yet?

Garin: Not quite. AAAAHHHHH! WHAT THE CRAP? WHY? WHY ME? WHY DO ALL THESE WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN TO _ME_? ... Okay, I'm done.

Isca: Um, okay...

Garin: Why are you here?

Isca: I came to ask you something. *_reaches out hand and puts it on his shoulder*_

Garin: Oh...Look, I'm flattered and all that, really, but I don't think-

Isca: What? No! *_removes hand_* I meant for you to leave your life as a pirate!

Garin: OH! Wait...leave my life as a pirate? HAHAHAHA! Fuck no.

Isca: But I came to you in a dream! In a dream! *_waves arms around to indicate the supernatural*_

Garin: Since when have dreams ever told anyone anything?

Isca: Well, there was when-

Garin: That's right. Never. N-E-V-E-R. _Never_.

Isca: But-

Garin: Never.

Isca: ...Aw screw this. *_leaves_*

_The next day..._

Garin: That was a fine haul yesterday, my men. Lets see if we can pull off another today!

Jacques: Garin?

Garin: What is it?

Jacques: Eet ees ze clouds. Zey look angry. We're een for a bad storm.

Garin: Really? Where?

Jacques: *_points_* Zere.

Garin: *_squints and points in some random direction_* There?

Jacques: Non. Zere! *_points again*_

Garin: *_squints again_* I can't see anything over there Jacques! It's all obscured by a large black cloud!

Jacques: *_facepalm_* I was pointing at ze cloud, Garin.

Garin: Oh.

_The Revenge comes out of the black clouds in a splendid display of imagery..._

Fire: Wow Echo.

Me: What?

Fire: Imagery? _Seriously_?

Me: What? Have you _not_ seen this panel?

Fire: _*eye roll*_

Me: *_mutters to self_* Little brat...

Garin: WHAT IN THE NAME OF BRYNN'S UGLY-AS-SHIT HELMET IS _THAT_?

Me: *_frying pan whacks him*_ Did you _not_ hear my voiceover?

_And within seconds, the Revenge had pulled itself alongside the Black Pawkeet, showing just how major the size difference is. This, coincidentally, is also where the chapter ends._


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey, it's Echo. So, not all of you are happy with my parody. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I understand that my parodies are not for everyone. Now, to explain some things: Yes, breaking the fourth wall is one of my specialties. I find that parodies are particularly funny if 1) The narrator notices how lame the story is and the characters don't, 2) The characters notice how lame the story is and the narrator doesn't, or 3) Both the narrator and the characters notice how lame the story is and completely screw it up. Next, sure, there's no France in Neopia, but even so, Jacques has a French name. How come TNT can break accuracy, and I can't have a little fun with it? Third, my stories are kinda like TV shows. Sometimes jokes are reoccurring from an episode or, in this case, story that happened before._

_Now, I will accept criticism, but if it turns to flaming...as Whateva876 said: FUCK OFF!_

Chapter 3

Me: *_sitting down and eating cornflakes_*

Fire: Why is it that _every_ time we start a new chapter, Echo does something random?

Armin: You have obviously not read her previous story.

Fire: I'm just saying-

Armin: You learn to just not question anything she does.

Fire: Armin, I _know_ that already, she's my frickin' _owner_. But I'm allowed to wonder why, right?

Me: *_finishes my cornflakes_* Okay, chapter three.

_Miles away from the Black Pawkeet, Isca is awakened by another vivid dream. In it, she saw the usul of her childhood in desperate trouble..._

Fire: AWWW! They were both dreaming about each other! That's so _cute_!

Armin: Shit!_ Please_ don't tell me that Fire's a fangirl.

Me: She's every type of fangirl. HannahXKanrik, BrynnXHanso, NabileXJazan, IscaXGarin... You name it, she's a fan.

Armin: *_flashback to the caged Brynnso fangirls, absentmindedly grabs the cattle prod*_

Me: I don't think that you'll be needing that, Armin. Fire hasn't tried to kill me yet.

Isca: Um, isn't this _my_ scene?

Me: Oh yeah.

_Pausing only long enough to take her magic necklace, she hurries to the surface without a thought towards King Kelpbeard's edict: Never mix with the surface folk._

Me: Has he ever said why not?

Isca: No.

_Swimming montage #1_

Me: Yep! They're back! Just...swimming this time.

Isca: (singing to "My Best Theory" by Jimmy Eat World) It's been a long time, so long. There's only one life I know.

Me: (singing background voice) I know.

Isca: (singing) But I have my own mind, I'll say so if it seems right.

Me: (singing background voice) Hey rush out!

Isca: (singing) I see your warm face with the soft mouth, but it speaks some thing else.

Me: (singing background voice) Else.

Isca: I'll take my chances with the cast down, we can feel the air.

Isca and Me: (singing) Rush out! Out from the center! Not like one side is any better. Stand up, as they've been preaching. My best theory is already in me.

_And so Isca surfaces, only to see the battling ships not too far away..._

_Meanwhile, on the ships..._

Garin: *_yelling_* To arms! Protect the ship!

_In the midst of the battle..._

Garin: *_fighting this crazy looking lupe*_ Jacques! I need your help!

Camera Crews: Garin! Garin! Look over here!

Garin: DAMMIT NOW IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR THIS!

Jacques: *_throws his sword to Garin_* 'ere Garin! Two swords are better zen one!

Other Pirates: *_all stop fighting_* What?

Jacques: Sheet! You fooking beetches are _really_ starting to piss me off!

Other Pirates: ...What?

Mynci Pirate: _*suddenly remembers that they're all still fighting and jumps on Garin*_

Garin: AH! _*throws him off*_

_With that, everyone remembers where they are and what they're doing, and the fighting recommences..._

Garin: *_fighting with two swords_* Jacques! Get down here! I need you!

Jacques: 'old on! I'm coming! *_holds on to a rope and swings*_ TARZAN!

Garin: Watch out for that mast!

Jacques: *_smashes into the mast_* Ow...

Me: *_facepalm_*

Jacques: *_kinda disoriented_* Zere's too many of zem! We may 'ave to abandon sheep!

Fire: WTF? Sheep?

Me: Ship.

Fire: Oh.

Garin: *_epic face_* NEVER!

Jacques: Get to ze skiff! It's our only 'ope!

_For some reason, the skiff is already in the water..._

Jacques: 'old zem off, zen drop down and I will catch you. *_starts to climb down*_

Garin: *_still fighting_* Back you thieves! You'll _never_ take my ship!

Benny(the creepy looking Bruce who has a name for some reason): This one fights _too_ well! *_climbs onto the rigging above Garin's head and takes out his club_* But his swords won't stop _this_! TIMBER! *_smashes Garin on the head*_

Garin: Uh! *_falls overboard_*

Jacques: Oh non! Garin! _*rows skiff over to him*_ I'm coming!

_Then, a GIANT burst of water breaks apart the skiff..._

Jacques: NON! *_falls into water, sees that he is surrounded by the Drenched_* 'oo are you? Stay away from me! 'elp!

The Drenched: ...What?

Jacques: *_loses it_* PUTAIN DE MERDE!

Me: WHOA!

Fire: What is he _saying_?

Me: Um...some _very_ violent French swearing...

_Meanwhile, Garin is drowning..._

Garin: *_unconscious_*

_Meanwhile again, Scarblade *lightning crash* has taken over the Black Pawkeet..._

Scarblade: There is only one ruler of these five seas, and that's me, Captain Scarblade! *_lightning crash*_

Buzz Pirate: *_tied up_* Man, that lightning thing is _epic_!

Techo Pirate: *_also tied up_* Do I _have_ to remind you of the situation that we're in?

Me: *_shakes my head_* You all should have listened to my PSA.

Scarblade: Those of you who surrender can become part of my crew.

Wocky Pirate: _*also tied up_* ...Why are you staring at me?

Scarblade: And those who do not will walk the plank!

Wocky Pirate: *_suddenly tied up and on the plank_* Whoa! How the crap did I get here so fast?

Scarblade: Um...

Wocky Pirate: This isn't right, man, I'm like twelve years old or something!

Scarblade: Well, you-

Wocky Pirate: This is child abuse! I'm suing you for harassment!

Scarblade: Whoa whoa whoa! I'm not harassing you!

Wocky Pirate: Yes you are! You are giving me unwelcome, unwanted attention! I know my rights! I will see you in court-

Scarblade: Oh my God, SHUT UP!

Wocky Pirate: I have the right to free speech!

Scarblade: You also have the right to remain silent.

Me: Look people, I've got to wrap up this chapter...

Fire: Chocolate break, anyone?

Scarblade: Oh, I could go for some chocolate!

Benny: Me too!

The Drenched: Same here.

Me: Alright, lets get us some chocolate! *_leaves_*

The Others: *_leave_*

Armin: ...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Fire and Armin: *_both lying down and groaning_*

Me: *_sigh_* I _told_ you not to eat all that chocolate.

Fire: How were we supposed to know that _this_ would happen?

Armin: What is this anyway?

Me: It's a sugar hangover. I had one once, many, many years ago. I ate a crapload of sugar, the next morning I threw up twice and couldn't move for a good part of the day.

Fire: **Thanks. I **_**really**_** needed to know that.**

Armin: Echo, can you get us some water or something?

Me: *_leaves_*

_Awkward silence..._

Fire: Sooo...you're the guy who's dating my sister, right?

Armin: Um, yeah...

Fire: *_says in creepy, serious and threatening voice_* Well, I only have this to say: Hurt Shadow in any way _at all_, and I will personally hunt you down to the end of the earth and make you wish that you had never been born!

Armin: *_almost craps himself in fear*_

Me: *_comes back in_* Fire? Armin? I have your water!

Fire: *_sweet again_* Thanks Echo! Armin and I were just having this nice conversation, weren't we?

Armin: *_scared_* Um...yeah...

Me: *_gives them water_* Oh, that's nice. I guess. Actually, the be completely honest, I don't really care.

Fire: I didn't really expect you to.

Me: Okay, time for chapter four.

_As Captain Scarblade *lightning crash* ...towed the Black Pawkeet back to Scurvy Island, Garin sank deeper into the ocean._

Isca: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming-OH MY GOD!

Garin: *_still unconscious and drowning*_

Isca: _*puts her seaweed necklace around his neck*_

Garin: *_wakes up, sees Isca*_ Crap, I'm having these dreams again...

Isca: No, this is real.

Garin: Exactly what a dream person would _want_ me to think!

Isca: *_frying pan whacks him_*

Garin: OW! Well, at least I know I'm not in limbo.

Isca: Do you _have_ to bring Inception into this? Do you?

Me: For some reason, I think that THESE ARE NOT YOUR LINES!

Isca: Right. Well, my name is Isca. The magic in this necklace will allow you to breathe underwater.

Garin: My ship...the pirates...

Isca: Too late man. Your ship is captured, and your crew. There is no place for you to go, no one to help you but me.

Garin: Wait a minute...did you just bandage my head or something?

Isca: Why?

Garin: Because, I'm suddenly wearing two headbands...

Isca: Um, lets just go over this plot hole by saying that I _did_ bandage your head.

Me: Wow Garin. Two headbands and a necklace. Not to mention your many earrings...

Garin: ...What are you getting at Echo?

Me: *_snickers_*Like playing dress-up, Garin?

Garin: What? Oh come on! That's not fair!

Me: *_still laughing_* Yeah, I'll keep that in mind the next time the camera crews call you over to hair and make-up!

Garin: _*getting pissed_*

Armin: Echo...

Me: What?

Armin: Stop teasing the guy. Oh and..._ *lowers voice_* I think that Fire is more like you than you thought...

Me: What makes you say that?

Armin: *_flashbacks to the beginning of this chapter*_ Um...

Garin: Anyway, what am I supposed to do now?

Isca: Come with me and I will show you the wonders of the deep.

Garin: But my friends are missing and I half drowned!

Isca: We are seeing the wonders of the deep.

Garin: But I-

Isca: NOW!

Garin: *_scared_*

_And they swim along...Dammit! They're talking! That means no montage! ;_;_

Isca: My earliest memories are of a great whirlpool, brought on by a pirate's curse.

Garin: _*struggling to keep up_* Hey! Hey slow down!

Isca: *_sighs, waits for him to catch up_*

Garin: *_catches up_* By the way, why aren't we making any reference to how we already know each other?

Isca: Fuck knows.

Garin: *_sees Maraqua_* By Kreludor, what is that?

Me: By _Kreludor_?

Garin: It's more splendid than the great castle of Meridell!

Me: What's so great about the castle of Meridell?

Garin: You know, I'm not entirely sure... Is this...Atlantis?

Isca: What? No! That's some stupid Earth story with no scientific merit! This is Maraqua. We have been building ourselves a new home. But progress is slow, and we are running out of Maractite.

Garin: Maractite? What the hell is that?

Isca: Can't talk now, we're going into the city! Hide under here! *_pushes him under a giant clam*_

Garin: OW! MY HEAD!

Isca: Shhhh!

Garin: Sorry. Ow, my head!

Isca: _*hides as well_* Sorry, it is expressly forbidden for any Maraquan to mix with surface dwellers. If they find you, they will never let you return home.

Garin: So why did you bring me here?

Fire: OMG YA! Why did you, Isca? _Hm?_

Isca: Well, what _else_ was I supposed to do?

Garin: Let me drown?

Isca: Why would I do that?

Garin: Well, you barely know me. Sure, we looked at each other about ten years ago, but still...

Isca: If you saw someone drowning, would you just leave them alone?

Garin: ...Good point.

Isca: *_leads him into this girly pink room_* You can stay here until your wound has healed.

Garin: Do you live here?

Isca: The king gave me these quarters and is kind to me. But that would change if he knew that I brought you here. *_takes out potion_* Here, take this. It will help you sleep and will make you well.

Nabile: Hey wait...is that the potion I made in the Desert's Ruin? Or the Brightvale plot?

Garin: *_gags_* It tastes like Rainbow Dung and Morthog piss!

Nabile: Thought so.

Jazan: Nabile? What are you doing? You shouldn't be underwater! You're pregnant! *_grabs her arm_* Come on, lets go home. Bye Echo!

Nabile: Thanks for the brief cameo!

Me: Bye guys!

Garin: Tired...*_falls asleep*_

_While Garin slept, Isca tried to think of what to do. Eventually, the king called for her, to ask if her had warned of any danger. While she was gone, Garin woke, took off his bandage and, like the idiot he is, decided to go exploring on his own. He saw a magnificent city under construction, and a multitude of sea creatures going to and fro..._

Maraquan Shoyru: TO!

Maraquan Buzz: FRO!

Maraquan Shoyru: My God, we have no lives!

Maraquan Buzz: Ain't that the truth.

_Then, he sees a draik, also known as Swordsmaster Talek, giving weapon classes..._

Swordsmaster Talek: This is a sword made of Maractite. *_takes out sword*_ It has a most remarkable ability to cut through water without any resistance!

Me: Water resistance is greater than air resistance. Random fact.

Swordsmaster Talek: *_uses the sword on Punchbag Bob's cousin, Punchbag Tim_* With these swords, New Maraqua can be defended from any invasion!

Punchbag Tim: Crap, not again! *_gets his head cut off*_

_The pirate in Garin could not resist taking one of these amazing weapons for himself. Garin hid the dagger where no one could find it (in other words, on the inside of his jacket), went back, and waited for Isca's return..._

Me: Dude, you forgot to put your second headband back on.

Garin: I'll just say that I took it off.

Me: But if you're pretending to be asleep, how could you have taken it off?

Garin: ...Gee, I never thought of that.

Me: Of course, you _could_ always hide behind the excuse that you were playing dress-up...

Garin: DAMMIT ECHO, I AM NOT A TRANSVESTITE!

Fire and Armin: NOT SO LOUD!

Me: They're still recovering from sugar hangovers.

Garin: *_sigh_* I'll just put the bandage back on...

Me: Good idea.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Me: So...what delightfully random thing shall we do at the beginning of this chapter?

Fire: I don't know.

Armin: We could- oh wait...nah, nevermind.

Me: What?

Armin: I was gonna suggest poking random people with the cattle prod, but that's not such a good idea underwater. You know...electricity...

Me: Yeah, lets not do that.

Fire: What do we do then?

Me: ...Explosion, anyone?

_Meanwhile, in Kiko Lake...MAJOR EXPLOSION!_

Me: No residents of Kiko Lake were harmed. And you may want to remember that it was _Kiko Lake_ that exploded. *_cough_* My upcoming sequel! *_cough_*

_Meanwhile, in Isca's room..._

Isca: *_comes in with a basket of food_* I brought you something to eat. How are you feeling?

Garin: *_eating bread*_ Much better. Now that my wound has healed, I must return to the surface. I have a score to settle with that fiend that stole my ship! I'm gonna make that bastard pay!

Isca: You cannot go back to your life as a pirate. My dreams have never been more clear. There is nothing but death ahead of you on the seas.

Garin: I love pirating, the adventure, the treasure...and he stripped that all away from me! I will not rest until he pays with his life! Besides, everything fun is unsafe! Look at Echo!

Me: *_playing with my chainsaw_* Hm?

Isca: ...*_sigh_* In any case, you cannot stay here. There is no place for land dwellers in Maraqua. *_points to a tunnel_* Come, this passage will take us to a place far outside the city.

_Swimming montage #2_

Me: Time for one of my many personal favorites...*_plays "Black Heart Inertia" by Incubus_*

Garin: (singing) Walking alone tonight 'cause I've only got room for two. Me and my burdened black heart, it's all we know how to do.

Isca: (singing) Yet I look for a bigger bang, than the kind I continually see. Sick of all this inertia, I want you to mend me.

Me: (singing) Lover, can you help me? I'm a child lost in the woods. A black heart pollutes me, and I think...

Garin, Isca and Me: (singing) You're a mountain, that I want to climb. Not to conquer, but to share in the view.

Fire: Wow...These lyrics are weird too...

Me: No one asked you!

Fire: *_eye roll_*

Me: Have you tried actually _listening_ to this song? Hm?

Fire: No.

Me: *_gives her MP3 player_* Well, try it!

Fire: But aren't you playing it right now?

Garin and Isca: *j_ust kinda waiting for this conversation to end so they can get back to the montage*_

Me: You know what? *_stops playing the music_* Fire, you listen. Isca and Garin, continue on in silence.

Garin: But-

Me: Oh for the love of- IN SILENCE!

Garin: *_shuts up*_

_Approx. 4 minutes and 20 seconds later..._

Fire: Oh my God...THAT SONG WAS FRICKIN' AMAZING!

Me: What did I tell ya?

Fire: *_going into fangirl mode*_

Me: Crap! I've created a monster!

Armin: *_takes out cattle prod*_

Me: No! Bad Armin! No cattle prod!

Armin: But whyyyyyy?

Me: 'Cause Fire's my pet! I can't let her get prodded! Even if she goes into super crazy fangirl mode.

Isca: You guys done? 'Cuz we're here.

Fire, Armin and Me: Oh.

Isca: *_to Garin_* Go to the surface quickly. There are...unpleasant things in these waters.

Garin: You had me at "unpleasant" *_swims away quickly*_

Voice behind Isca: Hello sister.

Isca: *_jumps and turns around_* **Yeah, give me a heart attack**- OMG CAYLIS? *_faints_*

Caylis: …

Isca: *_wakes up_* HEY CAY! HOW'RE YA DOIN'?

Caylis: *_sigh_* Isca...

Isca: Alright, I'll stop.

Caylis: It's been a long time. Are you no longer King Kelpbeard's favorite?

Isca: I still have my dreams, and they still help our people, if that's what you mean.

Caylis: YOUR people, Isca. I'm _banished_, remember?

Isca: Hey, I didn't ask for these dreams! Would you rather I keep them to myself?

Caylis: *_epic face_* And I never asked for my nightmares. They horrify me in my sleep, and my waking hours are filled with loneliness. *_swims away_* Return to your luxury, Isca. It is better if we don't meet again.

Fire: Hey Caylis! I love your arm band!

Caylis: Um...thanks...

Me: Maybe Garin would like to try it on...

Garin: (very distant) DAMMIT ECHO!

Me: _*smiling to myself_*

_With a heavy heart, Isca swam home, knowing that she could do nothing more for either Garin or her sister, while Garin returned to the surface. He hid Isca's necklace in his pocket, and with the last of his strength, swam toward a fishing boat he saw not too far away..._

Me: Hm...The TNT artists fucked up again.

Fire: How?

Me: They say that he took off his necklace. So why is he still wearing it?

Garin: Hm? Hey, you're right! *_takes off necklace*_ Thanks for that!

Me: No problem.

_He told them a tale of how he was shipwrecked, floating for days in a lifeboat that sank just as their vessel appeared on the horizon._

Grundo: Wow. Then what happened?

Garin: Uh, that's it. Then you guys picked me up, and here I am now.

Tuskaninny: Ugh, that's such a fail ending. I mean, that ending just _killed_ that story man. *_takes out bag of coke*_

Armin: Hey wait...is that...YOU STOLE MY COCAINE YOU BASTARD!

Tuskaninny: Oh shit! *_hides_*

Me: *_facepalm_*

_So, they put him ashore on Scurvy Island, and Garin made his way to the nearest inn. With the few coins he had left, he rented a small room, and in the time-honoured tradition of the sea, proceeded to drown his sorrows in alcohol...Not a wise thing to do on Scurvy Island!_

Me: Oh crap! Benny's in the background!

Fire: We have to save Garin!

Armin: But that's not part of the story!

Fire: And?

Armin: *_takes out frying pan*_

Me: Not again!

Armin: *_chases Fire with the frying pan in hand*_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Me: And another chapter...

Fire: Hey Isca!

Isca: What?

Fire: Ever consider dyeing your hair?

Isca: No. Why?

Fire: 'Cuz it's, like, white!

Isca: ...And?

Fire: Only _old_ people have white hair!

Me: That's not necessarily true, Fire. Many Neopets are painted white, or the color comes with the paintbrush.

Fire: But she's not painted white, and she's Maraquan!

Me: FIRE! IT'S JUST HER GODDAM HAIR COLOR!

Fire: *_pouts_*

Me: *_sigh_* Chapter six...

_With nowhere to go, no one to confide in, Garin didn't know what to do..._

Garin: *_poking food around his plate and whistling*_

Random Eyrie: _*pays him to stop whistling*_

Garin: *_staring at his food as if he expects it to start talking or something*_

_When suddenly, he noticed one of his former crew members working at the inn..._

Garin: Talak!

Twelve Year Old Wocky Pirate from Chapter 3(apparently named Talak): Exclamation point!

Garin: Um...okay...*_grabs his arm_* Where is my crew? Where is Jacques? What happened to my ship?

Talak: The crew is scattered. Some escaped like I did...and others joined with Captain Scarblade! _*lightning crash*_

Garin: So that's the villain's name...Scarblade! _*lightning crash*_

Me: Scarblade! *_lightning crash*_

Garin: ...Does this happen every time?

Talak: Yeah, its so he can tell if people are talking about him or not.

Garin: Makes sense.

Talak: Some say he's a ghost...and others say that he cut out his heart and buried it for safekeeping!

Me: ...How obsessed _is_ this guy about Davey Jones?

Armin: Less than Fire about Incubus, that's for sure...

Fire: *_putting up Incubus posters all over one of the walls*_

Armin: Is she allowed to do that?

Me: I told her it was fine, as long as it wasn't on my angry-carving wall. *_points_*

Garin: I can't believe that Jacques would join forces with that fiend! Is he...dead?

Talak: Nope.

Garin: Then he joined Scarblade! _*lightning crash_* WHY? WHY JACQUES? _*starts crying*_

Talak: He didn't join either.

Garin: *_stops crying_* Oh. Than what happened?

Talak: He was captured by three sea witches in battle. I never believed the legends about the Drenched, but now I have seen them, and I gotta tell you, I almost pissed myself!

Garin: Ew... But I thought they were just a fairytale!

One-Eyed Yurble who Runs the Inn: *_grabs Talak_* You there! I don't pay you to jabber! Get back to work!

Me: Brother of angry orange Yurble, maybe?

Armin: Predecessor.

Me: Ah.

Talak: *_goes back to work*_

Garin: What about the Black Pawkeet?

Talak: They towed it away. I don't know where-

Yurble: *_grabs Talak again_* Enough of that. I said get back to work!

Talak: Child abuse and labor! Child abuse and-

Yurble: *_clasps other hand over Talak's mouth_* Shut up!

Garin: _*takes out his epic Maractite dagger_* Back off, or I'll gut you like a herring!

Me: A herring?

Fire: Seriously?

Me: Done with the posters?

Fire: No, I just ran out. I'll get more later.

Armin: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! _*runs away*_

Fire: ...What the _hell_?

Me: He's used to violently dealing with fangirls.

Yurble: Easy now! We don't want no trouble...

Garin: _*puts away dagger_* Sorry dude. Haven't seen my buddy here in a while.

Me: A day.

Garin: Shut up! Anyway, I won't cause any more problems.

_A few minutes later..._

Talak: So what happened to you, my old friend? How did you survive?

Garin: Well, I'm not sure if you'd believe me if I told you...

_And so Garin proceeded to tell Talak his story. He told him about Isca and the grand city and the marvelous sights he saw down there, because apparently Isca forgot to tell him to keep it a secret, and it never occurred to Garin that land dwellers were not allowed in Maraqua for a reason..._

Fire: You'd think that he'd be able to guess that for himself.

Armin: *_comes back in with a strange expression*_

Me: Done getting high?

Armin: (speaking quickly) Uh yeah.

Fire: What's _wrong_ with him?

Me: When Armin is high, he talks fast.

Armin: (speaking quickly) I couldn't handle it without being totally stoned man.

Me: Exactly.

Fire: o.0

Talak: My God. If it wasn't told by you, I wouldn't have believed it. A whole city underwater? Wow!

Me: He obviously hasn't heard of Atlantis yet.

Garin: Well, I'm gonna go get my ship and crew back now. I'll come get you when this is all over. Have a pleasant life!

Talak: Thanks dude! I better get back to work, but I wish I could help you more. Try asking around the docks. They may have seen something there.

Garin: Will do, man.

_All the while, someone else was listening attentively..._

Benny: Interesting. Scarblade- *_lightning crash_* Man, that's getting _really_ fucking annoying. Anyway, Sca- um, the captain will want to know about this! So they are rebuilding, eh? The fools!

Me: As opposed to sitting around in the rubble waiting to die?

Benny: Shut up.

Fire: And you were eavesdropping! That's not nice!

Armin: (speaking quickly) Yeah man you should mind your own business.

Benny: SHUT UP!

Yurble: NO YELLING!

Me: HYPOCRITE! HYPOCRITE!

Armin: (yelling quickly) PEOPLE CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

Fire: *_high-pitched scream*_

Everyone else: *_covers ears_*

Fire: *_stops_* Are you all done?

Everyone: *_nods_*

Fire: Good. Now, I'm off to get more posters. *_leaves_*

_Echo Note: When I originally wrote this, when Armin was high, he had no spaces between his words (which was pretty funny, actually). However, Fanfiction didn't recognize his lines as real words, so they didn't show up. So I had to put in spaces, and add "talking quickly" in front of his lines. Just go back and imagine him talking with no spaces between the words._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Oh shit, what now?_

Me: *_throwing darts*_

Armin: *_not high_* Echo? Don't you need a dartboard?

Me: Nope, the wall works just fine.

Fire: _*comes in_* I'm back!

Armin: *_inches toward his supply of coke*_

Fire: *_throws down posters on the floor_* I'm so tired!

Me: Of course you are! You've been gone for one passage of time between chapters!

Armin: Which can be a long time or a few seconds, depending on who you are.

Me: Soooo...chapter seven now.

_Later that night, Garin made his way back to his room, and Captain Scarblade's *lightning crash* OH SHUT UP! His most trusted henchman quickly made his way back to the Revenge..._

Benny: *_climbing aboard_* Where is Captain Scarblade? *_lightning crash_* ...Okay, that is _seriously_ getting on my nerves.

Mynci Pirate: Hey, none of us like it either.

Benny: Anyway, I have urgent news!

_Transition..._

Benny: *_talking to Capt- um, you know, in a dark room lit by a candle_* He said the city was very prosperous. It sounded as if they'd been rebuilding for a while.

Scarblade: Argh! That fat king be more resilient than I be thinkin'!

Me: *_facepalm_* Talk normally dude, you're not fooling anyone.

Scarblade: *_sigh, then angry face_* Looks like I have to teach them another lesson! Oh look! My eye is glowing! Now isn't that wonderful?

Benny and Me: …

Armin: Heh. I might have, you know...spiked his drink...

Me: *_facepalm_* Goddammit Armin...

_Scarblade *lightning crash* Grrr... Him and his henchmen stayed up late into the night, laying their plans for a new invasion of Maraqua. Oh crap..._

_Garin woke up early the next day, and although he preferred to be gathering wealth as a pirate on the high seas, he knew that right now he had to depend on other skills..._

Garin: *_hiding_* Fat green tonu with bag hanging by a string on his side...Perfect.

Tonu: *_to Quiggle behind the counter_* Come on! I want my Big Mac!

Quiggle: This is Burger King.

Tonu: That can't be right...

_While the tonu and quiggle continued to argue, Garin sneaked up from behind and, using his Maractite dagger, managed to take the bag without the tonu noticing. Oh sure, he noticed later when he couldn't pay for his Whopper, but that's a different story..._

_And so Garin had obtained the means necessary to gather the information that he needed. In other words, he now had bribe money..._

Garin: *_looking at the dagger*_ What a marvelous weapon! Sharp as a razor, and stronger than steel.

Me: Not to mention it looks totally awesome.

Garin: Hell yeah! But still, I have to find out what that fiend Scarblade *_lightning crash*_ Um...yeah...what he's done with my ship and my crew.

_However, information was expensive, and little of it did him any good. Still, after hours of searching, Garin finally managed to learn a thing or two that could help him..._

Garin: Hey man, can you help me?

Grey Techo: Sure dude, what's the matter.

Garin: Have you seen this ship? *_holds up a poster*_

Grey Techo: Yes, I've seen a ship like that. The Black Pearl, is that it?

Garin: *_sigh_* No, it's the Black Pawkeet. It says so at the bottom of the poster.

Grey Techo: Oh.

Garin: *_gives him money_* Where have you seen it?

Grey Techo: Pretty little ship. I last seen her heading north-east, out of the port towards that small cove of islands.

Garin: How do I know you're not lying to me?

Grey Techo: Kid, I'm a _Grey Techo_. Enough said.

_And later..._

Green Krawk: Some sailors swam ashore a few days ago. Rumour is that they escaped from you-know-who-

Me: YES! YOU DID NOT SAY HIS NAME!

Green Krawk: ...Yeah. So, it could be your old mates, if that's who you're looking for.

_Later again..._

Yellow Chia: Sure, I saw the remains of a skiff on some rocks awhile ago. It had "The Black Pawkeet" written on the bow. But I ain't seen no sign of any survivors.

Garin: Crap.

_But Garin had heard nothing of the fate of his best friend, and without Jacques, he had little hope of ever taking back his ship and sailing the seas once more..._

Garin: _*takes out photo album*_

_Looking at childhood pictures montage follows, with "I Will Remember You" as background music..._

Fire: Aw! That's so _sad_! ;_;

Me: You're quite the sentimental one, aren't you Fire?

Camera Crews: Hey...is that...it is! Garin! Garin, look over here!

Garin: I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!

Armin: Hey, has anyone seen my coke?

Scarblade: (talking quickly) Coke what coke didn't see no coke no I didn't...

Me: MOTHERFUCK NOT AGAIN!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Me: This has to stop.

Fire: We can't take this anymore.

Armin: You're not serious!

Me: Yep, Armin, this is an intervention.

Fire: You need to quit your coke addiction!

Armin: But...but...

Me: Armin, you can learn to deal with your violent urges in a more healthy way, like me.

Armin and Fire: …

Me: What? _What?_

Fire: Look, I'll try toning down my obsessions...

Me: And I'll lend you a knife and a wall...

Fire: And we'll see how this goes, okay?

Armin: I'll try, but I'm not promising anything.

Me: *_give him a knife*_ Good Armin.

_Far away under the sea, Isca's dreams appear more frequently, and more vividly, than ever before. In her dreams, she sees terrible dangers coming to New Maraqua. _

_In the dream..._

Maraquan Korbat: Oh no, it's a ship!

Other Maraquans: *_descend into total chaos and manage to destroy the city without the pirates doing anything*_

Scarblade: ...Well _that_ was easy.

_She also dreams of someone she only knows as Garin's childhood friend, trapped by the Drenched in an air pocket in an undersea cave._

_In the dream..._

Jacques: Non! Arretez cela! Je veux mon appel du telephone! Aidez-moi!

Dark Blue Drenched: What is he _saying_?

Purple Drenched: I don't know. I don't speak Spanish.

Jacques: What? Zis ees _French_ you douchebags!

Light Blue Drenched: *_to Jacques_* We no speaky Spanish! We only speaky English!

Jacques: I would facepalm, but I as am chained up, zis ees impossible.

_And so Isca returns to the surface with an epic face, secretly defying King Kelpbeard's edict for the third time. Girl just doesn't know when to quit, does she?_

_As always, when things seem darkest for him, Garin's strange childhood friend appears..._

Isca: *_flops out of the waves onto the shore_* Hey Garin!

Garin: HOLY SHIT! Are you _stalking_ me or something?

Isca: *_shifty eyes_* No...

Fire: *_whispers under breath_* Don't think I didn't notice those shifty eyes, Isca...

Isca: Garin! Something terrible is going to happen to Maraqua! I dreamed it!

Garin: Again with these dreams?

Isca: *_takes out frying pan_*

Garin: Uh, I mean, uh, what can I do? I've lost my ship, and my best friend has vanished...*_sad moment*_

Isca: I know where he is!

Garin: You do? How?

Isca: In my dream-

Garin: Isca, if this dream is for real, then I will never question your motives again!

Isca: He's being held prisoner by the Drenched. You can rescue him, if I help you.

Garin: If Jacques and I can find where that villain Scarblade *_lightning crash_* Dammit is that _still_ happening?

Me: Sadly.

Garin: If Jacques and I can find where that villain has taken the Black Pawkeet, then we'll be sailing the seas again in no time!

Isca: *_facepalm_* You're such a moron, Garin. Can't you just find Jacques and give up piracy?

Garin: Um, no. It's who I am. So how do we get Jacques back?

Isca: *_crosses arms_* Very well. I need your help and I have no choice. What didja do with the necklace I gave you?

Me: He put it in his jewelery box...

Garin: SHUT UP ECHO! *_takes said necklace out of his pocket*_ Let's go.

Isca: What are you-

Garin: CANNONBALL! *_cannonballs_*

Isca: *_sigh, goes under*_

Me: Swimming montage! Swimming-OH FUCK! They're talking again! I can't do a montage when they're _talking_!

Armin: There's only been _two_ montages in _eight_ chapters!

Me: Fuck the Curse of Maraqua plot and it's lack of unexplained transitions!

Isca: ANYWAY I think I know where their lair is. There is a cave that we are _totally_ forbidden to go near.

Me: Still going through your rebel phase, huh?

Isca: Hell yeah! *_takes out bag of coke_*

Armin: *_eye twitch, then goes over to his wall and slowly drags the knife down it, making this horrible screeching noise*_

Isca, Garin, Fire and Me: *_cover our ears*_

Armin: *_reaches the bottom of the wall and removes the knife_* You know...I _do_ feel better now!

Me: Told you.

Garin: Hey, are you sure about this Isca? The Drenched are things nightmares are made of-

Caylis: So _that's_ how I got my nightmares-

Isca: Caylis?

Caylis: ...Um...*_randomly disappears*_

Isca: ...WHAT THE HELL?

Garin: Who knows, Isca, who knows... Anyway, how are we supposed to beat the Drenched?

Isca: It's okay, I have a little help that's on its way. *_whistles a call, but I'm gonna make a joke and say that she's whistling "Help Is On the Way" by Rise Against. Get it? Help is on the way? She said that before she started whistling- ah forget it...*_

_Far away, Isca's childhood pet hears his mistress's call-_

Fire: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS _THAT_?

Armin and Me: *_shrug_*

_And he begins the long journey to find her..._

Me: I would do a swimming montage here, but he doesn't play a major role. Damn, I miss those montages.

Armin: Same.

Fire: *_painting her nails in a corner_* Same.

_10 minutes later..._

Isca: Strange. He should be here by now.

Garin: Lets give him another five minutes.

_5 minutes later..._

Isca: Still nothing.

Garin: Aw screw this! *_swims into the cave*_

Isca: Garin! Garin please wait!

Garin: *_not stopping_* We can't waste any more time waiting for help that may never come!

Me: (singing) But it never came! It never came!

Garin: *_eyebrow raise*_

Me: Sorry, but this whole situation and the dialogue fits this song almost perfectly.

Garin: Whatever, I'm going in!

Isca: Garin, no! We don't have a chance alone!

Garin: We're plot characters, what could happen?

_But before Garin could enter the lair, the Drenched swarm out to meet him..._

Isca: _That_ could happen.

Garin: *_fighting the Drenched_* Point taken. Now HELP ME!

_And before anyone could think twice, the battle had begun..._

Me: And this chapter ended.

Armin: "The battle had begun" at the end of a chapter? Who _does_ that?

Fire: TNT. Duh.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Me: *_runs in_* Guys! Guys, guess what!

Fire: You're finally stable?

Me: No.

Armin: You're letting me have my coke back?

Me: No.

Fire: There's a swimming montage in this chapter?

Me: Sadly not.

Armin: What then?

Me: I got myself a new weapon!

Fire: *_facepalm_* Echo, not again...

Armin: How many weapons do you_ have?_

Me: Um, my knife, my chainsaw, my rifle, frying pans, I have random stashes of explosives, backup knives-

Fire: *_sigh_* What did you get now?

Me: Take a look at this! *_pulls out a trident_*

Armin: Wow. That is one kick-ass trident!

King Triton(from the Little Mermaid): You called?

Me: No, not you, or your pathetic excuse for a trident.

King Triton: What? My trident is _awesome_!

Me: But it's not a _real_ trident, more like a golden pitchfork.

Armin: Get a _real_ trident, dude.

Raphael(from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles): Like mine! *_pulls out his two tridents*_

Me: Excuse me, but I did not invite either of you onto my property. You are therefore trespassing, and I have the right to threaten you both with this frying pan. *_holds it up*_

Raphael: Yeah, like that's gonna scare-

Me: *_frying pan whacks him_*

Raphael: OW! *_runs away*_

Me: Want some too, Triton?

King Triton: ...I'll pass. *_leaves_*

Me: I haven't whacked anyone with a frying pan in _ages_...

Garin: Um, battle going on here, need narration...

Me: Right. Chapter nine everybody.

_Garin finds himself surrounded by the Drenched..._

Garin: No shit, we covered this at the end of chapter eight!

Me: Hey, I didn't write all these goddam voiceovers! This plot has too many voiceovers!

Dark Blue Drenched: Look, sister, another pretty toy for us to play with.

Garin: *_takes out Maractite dagger_* Get your filthy claws off of me! *_swishes the dagger around in the water a little_* Wow, this weapon is amazing! The water has no resistance to it!

Me:** Wow! What a newsflash!**

Garin: Oh shut up!

Purple Drenched: *_to Isca*_ Go back to Maraqua. You are not wanted here!

Isca: *_dodges her_* Not until we have freed your prisoner!

Purple Drenched: Exclamation point!

Me: Why do they have exclamation points over their heads? She already looks angry, why is she surprised as well?

Armin: Fuck knows.

_Far more agile than the Drenched, Isca manages to evade her opponent-_

Isca: We just established that.

Me: All these useless voiceovers are starting to annoy me.

Isca: *_swimming through the tunnel until she finds the room with Jacques*_

Jacques: _*still chained up_* 'oo are you? Another devil come to torture me?

Isca: No, I am a friend. *_unchains him_* Garin needs your help.

Jacques: What? You can understand me? Even though I 'ave zis accent?

Isca: *_shrugs_* Clear enough to me.

Jacques: Quickly! We must find ze potion zose weetches made me drink. Eet allows me to breathe underwater.

Isca and Jacques: *_begin searching*_

Jacques: Eet 'as to be 'ere somewhere...

Purple Drenched: _*appears from the entrance_* No one enters the lair of the Drenched. The punishment is death.

Me: You took your time getting here...

Purple Drenched: Shut up!

Isca: *_jumps into the water*_ You'll have to catch me first!

Jacques: *_holds up potion_* Zis ees eet!

Purple Drenched: _*stops chasing Isca_* What?

Jacques: Suck on zat, beetch! *_drinks_*

Isca: Come and get me, you ugly sea-hag! *_swims away*_

Purple Drenched: You're dead! *_swims after her*_

_Cleverly, Isca draws the Drenched away from Jacques..._

Jacques: *_looks at the potion*_ I'd better 'ang on to this. You never know when a potion will come een handy. 'ang on, Garin! I'm coming! *_dives into water*_

_Outside the cave..._

Light Blue Drenched: *_takes hold of Garin*_

Dark Blue Drenched: Now we have him, sister!

Isca: _*swimming out_* Oh no!

Jacques: *_clubs Dark Blue Drenched on the head with the potion bottle_* On non you don't!

Me: How did he get there so fast?

Fire: I don't know...

Garin: Jacques! Buddy! How've you been?

Jacques: *_eyebrow raise*_

Garin: Oh right, captured. *_to the Drenched_* We have what we came for. Let us go in peace.

Me: **Because they're definitely going to agree, right?**

Garin: *_deathglare_*

Dark Blue Drenched: Never! Sisters, attack!

Garin: Again?

_As the battle rages once more, a surprise arrival changes the course of things..._

Giant Green Multi-tentacled Beast: *_arrives and roars*_

Dark Blue Drenched: It's the Kraken!

Me: This story and its Pirates of the Caribbeanness...

Isca: Goregas!

Garin: You _know_ that thing?

Isca: Wait...this isn't Goregas! Exclamation point!

_Unfortunately, this was indeed not Isca's pet. Something else had heard her call..._

Me: Another cliffhanger? Oh come on!

Fire: _Maybe_ if you updated more, there would be less suspense.

Me: Shut up, Fire.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Me: _*using the wall for trident target practic_e_, but, as my aim is total crap, it isn't going too well*_

Armin: Hey Echo, I've been meaning to ask, why do you have all these weapons?

Me: Weapons are awesome. Even Fire likes them!

Fire: No I don't! *_hides machine gun behind her back and shifty eyes*_

Shadow: Even I have to admit that weapons are pretty cool.

Armin: Shadow?

Me: Hey Shadow.

Shadow: Hi.

Fire: *_squeals_* Shadow! *_puts machine gun away and hugs Shadow_* It's great to see you again!

Me: I thought that I'd have a little reunion.

Shadow: Well, I have to get going now. I got this job at the Freaky Factory. Wouldn't want to be late.

Fire and Me: Bye!

Armin: *_kisses Shadow on the cheek_* Bye Shadow.

Shadow: Bye guys! *_leaves_*

Me: That was nice. Chapter 10 everybody.

_Suddenly, Garin and his friends had bigger problems than fighting sea witches..._

Garin: No shit, have you _seen_ this thing?

Me: DAMMIT! THERE ARE TOO MANY USELESS VOICEOVERS! Ah well, let's get on with the explanation.

_No one knew where the Chasm Beast-_

Isca: So _that's_ what this thing is!

Jacques: Eet looks like ze offspring of a seasick whale and an angry squeed.

Light Blue Drenched: Listen, dude, that accent makes _no_ sense.

Garin: Clear to me.

Isca: And me.

Me: Same.

Armin: Ditto.

Fire: Not to me.

Chasm Beast: Or me.

Me: *_facepalm_* Looks like I need an informational video. Drenched, Chasm Beast and Fire, please come over here.

Garin: What about us?

Me: Story's on hold for a while. Just stay there and don't do anything stupid.

_And here's an informational video on "How to Understand the French Accent"._

_Lesson #1: This is Sparta!_

Fire: What the hell?

Purple Drenched: *_frying pan whacks her*_ Shhh!

_An American person says it like this:_

American Person: This is Sparta!

_A British person says it like this:_

British Person: This is Sparta!

_And a French person says it like this:_

French Person: Zis ees Sparta!

Dark Blue Drenched: This is making more sense now.

Chasm Beast: Yeah, I get it!

_Lesson #2: Who, What, When, Where, Why, How, and Fuck it are you listening?_

Fire: *_WTF moment*_

_998 lessons later..._

Me: Do you get it yet?

Garin: Let's have a test. Jacques, say something.

Jacques: Like what?

Purple Drenched: I remember that from lesson two!

Jacques: Ees zis for real?

Light Blue Drenched: I remember that from lesson 536!

Jacques: Oh, you 'ave _got_ to be keeding moi.

Chasm Beast: And that from lesson 740!

Me: What are you anyways?

Chasm Beast: Voiceover!

Me: Right.

_No one knew exactly where the Chasm Beast came from, but now he prowled the ruins of Old Maraqua. The Beast devoured anyone who made the mistake of crossing his path. He was known to eat whole ships, his attention drawn by the noise of the battle. So, naturally, the Drenched forgot about capturing Isca and her friends, mostly because there was a GIANT FUCKING MONSTER ABOUT TO EAT THEM ALL!_

Chasm Beast: *_starts attacking the Drenched's cave*_

Garin: Now's our chance! Let's get out of here!

Purple Drenched: Hurry sisters! We'll be safe inside!

_And so the Drenched hurry into their cave..._

Isca: He's lost interest in us.

Chasm Beast: *_reaching a tentacle into the cave to get to the Drenched*_

Isca: Yep. Definitely not thinking of us right now.

Garin: Who could blame him? Sea Witch tastes much better than your average Neopet.

Isca and Jacques: *_inch away slowly*_

Garin: What? What did I say?

Jacques: Let's just get out of 'ere.

Me: Swimming montage? AW CRAP THEY'RE TALKING AGAIN!

Armin and Fire: *_going through montage withdrawal*_

Garin: Jacques, my oldest friend! It is such a relief to see you! I thought I lost you forever.

Jacques: You'll never lose me old friend. I am tired though. I don't know eef I can make eet much further.

Me: **Oh no, swimming and then clubbing a witch on the head while your friends were fighting them nonstop, being chased and then saving you from them. Sounds **_**very**_** tiring after sitting down for who-knows how long.**

Jacques: *_deathglare_*

Garin: Eh, just go to my room on Scurvy Island. You can rest up there, then we can find the Black Pawkeet and reassemble her crew!

Isca: But Garin, you gotta help me! A terrible disaster is about to befall New Maraqua. I saw it in my dream!

Garin: And your dreams don't lie. What kind of disaster?

Isca: I'm not sure, but it looked like a ship sailing underwater. How is that even possible?

Jacques: *_humming "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles. Get it? Submarine? Ship underwater-ah forget it. Again...*_

Isca: All I know for sure is that the danger comes from the surface world, and I have a deep sense that you, Garin, are our only hope for survival.

Garin: **Oh yeah, no pressure there.**

_At the surface..._

Garin: Sorry, Isca, I have to get Jacques to shore right now.

Jacques: *_looks like a person with motion sickness that just got off of a giant roller-coaster*_

Isca: Fine.

Jacques: _*grabs onto Garin*_ We 'ave to 'elp 'er, Garin. Eef she didn't rescue me, I'd still be in ze clutches of zose evil weetches.

Garin: *_sigh_* I know, I know...Okay Isca, go warn your people of the danger. Once Jacques has rested, we will learn all we can about what the danger might be.

Isca: And how do I know that you will come and help us?

Garin: Don't worry, you have rescued me too many times, and you helped save Jacques. When a pirate owes a debt, it is always repaid.

Me: Like to all the people you stole from?

Garin: *_deathglare_*

Isca: Still...To make sure, I'm going to take something of value to you, and only return it after you have helped me. Now give me your earrings.

Garin: NO! NOT THE EARRINGS!

Me: *_suppressing laughter*_

Garin: OH SHUT UP ECHO! Fine. *_takes out earrings and gives them to Isca*_

Isca: Sweet!

Garin: You will see us again before you know it.

Isca: And boy do I know it! *_holds up earrings*_

_Despite Garin's reassuring words, Isca returned to New Maraqua with a heavy heart and some new earrings..._

_Meanwhile, Garin and Jacques returned to Scurvy Island, where they saw that much had changed..._

Garin: "Out of Business"..."Closed"...What _happened_ here?

Camera Crews: Hey, it's Garin! Look over here!

Garin: Urgh, I don't need this right now! Can't you see that my friend needs medical help?

Jacques: *_looks pretty bad*_

_Garin returned to his room and helped Jacques regain his strength, while not far away, Scarblade *lightning crash*... Aw, why bother? Scarblade *lightning crash* gathered his forces for the invasion of New Maraqua..._

Me: Cliffhanger number...what number are we on?

Armin: Who knows? *_knifing the wall*_

Fire: *_polishing the machine gun* _

Me: _*playing with my new trident*_

Shadow: *_comes in*_ Forgot to return this. *_puts back the rocket grenade launcher from my last story*_

Me: **Yep, we're a normal bunch of people, aren't we?**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Me: Nothing random to see here, just the story!

_Crash in the background._

Fire: (distant) Sorry!

Armin: (also distant) Fire, this has to be the tenth time you-

Me: ANYWAY here's chapter eleven.

_Isca returned to New Maraqua, hopeful that Garin could learn something about the danger that she had seen in her dream..._

Isca: *_sneaking back in*_ Can't be seen, can't be seen, can't be-

Kelpbeard: Isca?

Isca: *_mutters to self_* Fuck. *_to Kelpbeard_* Yes?

Kelpbeard: Where have you been? My guards saw you swimming towards the surface. You _know_ that is absolutely forbidden.

Isca: I...I had a dream about Caylis. I went to look for her, but I couldn't find her.

Kelpbeard: She is banished, and you should have not gone to see her. We can't take chances that might endanger the city. *_points to Isca's room_* From this day forward, you are not to leave this room without these soldiers to guard you.

Kiko Guard: Hey.

Flotsam Guard: What's up?

Isca: _*eyebrow raise_* So I am a prisoner in my own room?

Kelpbeard: Oh, don't you raise that eyebrow at me, missy! It's for your own safety, and for the safety of all our people. Now, I must go to see the crew of miners I sent to Old Maraqua. We're almost out of Maractite.

Isca: **Oh, I wonder why.**

Kelpbeard: *_rage_* Yeah? Well...shut up!

_Isca had no other choice but to simply wait, and hope that Garin would be able to help the Maraquans from the surface..._

Isca: *_puts face in hands_* We're doomed!

_Meanwhile, Garin and Jacques, who had fully recovered, ventured into the village on Scurvy Island. Garin noticed that much had changed in his short absence..._

Garin: Again?

Me: Either that, or that was just _another_ useless voiceover.

_Even in the Rusty Anchor, usually a hive of activity, had few customers today..._

Garin: *_to the green yurble waitress_* Some food and drink for my friend and I please.

Green Yurble Waitress: Strange to see you fellows here. Most all men have gone off somewhere, even my husband.

Me: Angry Orange Yurble Predecessor's wife, maybe?

Armin: *_shrugs_*

Garin: Where did they go?

Green Yurble Waitress: There's something big happening, and all men are needed. That's all I know. I'll bring you yer food and drink now. *_leaves_*

Jacques: I don't remember ordering specifique food and drink...

Garin: Wait! You had a fellow working here, a wocky named Talak. Where is he?

Green Yurble Waitress: Gone, like the rest of 'em. You want yer lunch or don't ya?

Jacques: Oui, s'il vous plait.

Green Yurble Waitress: ...I'll just guess that's Spanish for "Yeah". *_leaves_*

Jacques: *_facepalm_* _Again_ with ze Spaneesh!

Garin: If all the men have gone off to the "big something", that's where we'll find Talak and the rest of the crew!

Jacques: Any ideas where we can start looking?

Garin: A cluster of islands to the north-east, that's what an old bastard told me. He said that he saw the Black Pawkeet heading in that direction.

_And, even with hardly anyone around, the Rusty Anchor is not a good place to be whispering secrets..._

Old Red Bori: *_sneaks away while Green Yurble Waitress gives Garin and Jacques their food*_

_Because secrets can draw unnecessary attention to oneself..._

Old Red Bori: *_talking to two guys in black cloaks*_

_And unwanted attention is never a good thing..._

Two Guys in Black Cloaks: *_take out two sacks and trap Garin and Jacques*_

Garin: Hey!

Jacques: Oh non, not again...

Two Guys in Black Cloaks: *_take the sacks to a carriage*_

_And so Garin and Jacques were carried off to parts unknown..._

Me: I'm starting to think that every chapter ends with a cliffhanger.

Armin: Seems likely, doesn't it?

_Crash in the background..._

Fire: (distant) Damn! I can't balance on these roller blades!

Me: _*calls over to her*_ Hey! No skating in the artefact room!

Fire: (distant) Sorry!


	12. Chapter 12

_The next chapter in this work of brainshit. (I like the word brainshit. It's a nice word. Brainshit.)_

Chapter 12

Me: ...I'm running out of random shit to do.

Fire: *_styling her hair_* You _could_ go to therapy.

Me: NEVER!

Armin: *_knifing the wall because of coke withdrawal*_

Me: If anyone has a problem with all the mentions of drug use and weapons, please shove your complaints up your ass, because I don't want to deal with them.

_Helpless inside thick sacks, the kidnapped Garin and Jacques are loaded onto the deck of a trawler..._

Garin: (in a sack) What's a trawler?

Jacques: (in a sack) No idea.

Me: Some sort of boat.

_And had they known it, they were carried north-east towards a small cluster of islands; the very place where Garin heard the Black Pawkeet had been taken..._

Garin: (in a sack) Really? We are?

Me: I guess voiceovers _are_ useful for something...

_A secret place, where Scarblade *lightning crash* ...has quietly been building a mighty sailing force, armed to the teeth and manned by a hundred sailors, but not all of them willing participants..._

Two Guys in Black Cloaks: _*throw Garin and Jacques into some sort of prison*_

Garin: OW! MOTHERFUCK!

Talak: Garin?

Jacques: Talak?

Buzz Pirate: Jacques?

Garin: Techo Guy?

Techo Pirate: Why don't _I_ get a name?

Me: *_headdesk_* You just _ruined_ that name thing, man!

Garin: Bill! Gordy! Jim!

Me: Wait...so they _do_ have names!

Armin: Wait wait wait...Bill?

Skeith Guard from The Desert's Ruin or the Brightvale Plot named Bill: Oh hi Armin!

Me: Goddammit, Bill, what are you _doing_ here?

Bill: Well, my name was in this plot, so I decided to come along.

Fire: Which one is Gordy and which one is Jim?

Buzz Pirate: I'm Gordy.

Techo Pirate: I'm Jim.

Me: Now that we all have names, can we get this plot moving?

Garin: Right. I can't believe it! Most of my old crew is here, alive and well!

Gordy: Not really _well_, but good enough.

Jacques: Oui, but where are we?

Jim: ...What?

Garin: Just like old times...He asked where we are.

Talak: Welcome to the middle of nowhere. Like us, you're now part of Scarblade's *_lightning crash*_ ...That is _really_ getting on my nerves. You're now part of his work force. Rumour has it that he's planning some sort of invasion.

Jacques: Invasion? Sounds suspeecious...

Garin: And the Black Pawkeet? Have you seen our ship?

Talak: It's anchored on the far side of this island, where Scar-

Me: DON'T SAY IT!

Talak: Um, where you-know-who is using it...as a rubbish scow.

Garin: That bastard! My beautiful, sleek ship is being used to haul _rubbish_? That beast will pay for this insult a thousand times over!

Gordy: Oh my God! Garin, where are your earrings?

Other Pirates: *_gasp_*

Garin: Um, nevermind that for now, lets focus on getting out of here.

Talak: How can we? We're prisoners trapped behind solid iron bars. *_points at barred window*_

Garin: No problem, I'll just use my handy Maractite dagger which those guys in cloaks conveniently forgot to take away. *_uses dagger to cut through the bars_* I will recapture my ship, and send this evil Scarblade *_lightning crash_* to the bottom of the sea! All in favor, say "Aye!"

Other Pirates: Aye!

_Not wasting a moment (except for that motivational speech just now), Garin and his mates climb out of the window. They slip past the unsuspecting guards and into the jungle..._

Me: FUCK IT! THEY'RE TALKING AGAIN!

Fire: Wow, these people will _not_ shut up. I mean, like, come _on_!

Armin: *_sigh_* I miss the old days where montages were everywhere...

Talak: That's a truly amazing blade you've got there, Garin.

Garin: *_slicing through the plants to make a passageway_* IKR? Anyway, there are many more wonders waiting where I found this. But they are not for our plunder. I have sworn a pirate's oath, and with your help I will fulfill it!

Jacques: We are with you, Capitain. Every one of us.

Garin: Good to know. But first, the Pawkeet. Do you know exactly where she is?

Talak: There! *_points_*

_In the middle of a small bay was the Black Pawkeet, covered from keel to deck with garbage. Ew..._

Me: Property damage. You could sue for that.

Fire: Echo, I have almost no clue of what happens in Neopia's legal system, but I'm pretty sure that people don't sue each other.

Me: That's lame.

Armin: Actually, it saves us from having to go to court, or being summoned to jury duty.

Me: *_fell asleep during Armin's explanation*_

Armin: ...You could have just said that you didn't care.

Me: _*still asleep*_

Fire: Urgh, I need a coffee. Do we have an espresso machine here?

Armin: No, but we have free soda.

Fire: *_shrugs_* It's still caffeine.

Armin: Maybe Echo could use some too.

Me: *_still asleep*_

Fire and Armin: ...Nah.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Me: As the members of the narration office have all been suffering from withdrawal, here's a random added scene which I hope you all will enjoy!

_Looking at the garbage covered ship..._

Garin: *_snaps_* THAT MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

Jacques: Why? Why ees 'e doing this?

Peter Griffin: Oh, so you haven't heard?

Jacques: 'eard what?

Garin: Oh no...

Me: Aw yeah! Hit it Peter!

Peter: *_plays "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen_* A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird! The bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Me: (singing) Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Armin: (singing) Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Fire: (singing) Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Garin: *_facepalm_* Seriously guys?

Me: Are you kidding? This is the closest thing we've had to a montage in a long time!

Peter: (singing) Jacques, don't you know about the bird? Bill, everybody knows that the bird is the word! Oh well the bird, bird, the bird bird's the word! Oh well the bird!

_Small music break..._

Peter: (singing) Hey weird techo pirate, the bird is the word! Hey creepy buzz pirate, the bird is the word! Hey orange wocky guy, the bird is the word!

Me: (singing) Don't you know about the bird?

Fire and Armin: (singing) Sure! Everybody knows that the bird is the word!

Peter: Oh well the bird, bird, the bird bird's the word! Oh well the bird!

Me: (singing) Surfin' Bird!

Peter: (singing) _*seizure sounds_* Pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow.

Everybody(even Garin): (singing) Pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow. Ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow. Pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow. Ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa pa ooma mow mow, pa pa ooma mow mow.

Garin: Did we...did we just...

Peter: Oh hell yeah we did!

Me: Thanks man!

Peter: No problem. *_calls over to Lois_* Hey Lois, I told you! I told you that they'd appreciate this song eventually! *_leaves_*

Me: And with no injuries, this was successful too!

Armin: Back to the plot people.

_On the deck of the Black Pawkeet, brutal guards with menacing weapons patrolled the ship..._

_Unseen in the dark waters, Garin and some of his crew swam towards the Black Pawkeet..._

Unnamed Kacheek: Why don't I get a weapon?

Garin: What?

Unnamed Kacheek: You get your kick-ass dagger, Talak gets a plank of wood, and Gordy gets a club-thing. Why don't I get a weapon?

Talak: Because you don't have a name.

Unnamed Kacheek: *_sigh_* I wish I had ixi pull-stuff-out-of-your-ass powers...

_On the shore..._

Jacques: *_hiding behind a bush with the rest of the crew_* Steady now. They're almost to ze sheep.

Jim: Listen dude, I have _no_ idea what sheep have to do with _anything_-

Bill: He said ship.

Jacques: ...You can understand me?

Bill: ...Should I not be able to?

Jim: *_confused_* I thought he was a douchebag...

Me: He is...

_Transition..._

Garin: *_at the bottom (or keel) of the ship*_ As soon as you hear the ruckus on the shore, climb up these ropes as fast as you can, okay?

Rest of the Crew: Aye aye, Captain!

Garin: I can't hear you!

Rest of the Crew: (louder) Aye aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Patrick Star: Um...hang on, I know this...um...Oh oh, I know!

Spongebob: Who Patrick?

Patrick: Um...hang on...I forgot...

Garin: Go back to the Spongebob Fanfiction.

Gordy: Yeah. Leave our plot alone!

Patrick: Meanies. *_leaves_*

Spongebob: *_also leaves*_

_Transition..._

Jacques: *_picks up wood plank*_ Let's go!

_And they all run out from behind the bushes at the guards..._

Bill: Hey ugly!

Jacques: Look over 'ere!

Jim: Your mother was a-

Jacques: *_stops_* Woah! Non. Non. We don't eensult zere mothers. Never.

Jim: *_grumbles_* Fine...

_Transition..._

Pirate Krawk: *_looks over the edge of the deck_* Hey. What's happening on the beach?

Garin: *_climbing_* Now climb as fast as you can!

_And so they all climb..._

Skeith Pirate: Do yer think they need our help? *_points at the pirates fighting on the beach*_

Garin: *_clubs Skeith with a bat_* No, my friend, it is _you_ who requires assistance!

Gordy: Wait...Garin, where did that bat come from? And where did your dagger go?

Garin: Oh, this is a conveniently shaped piece of driftwood that happened to float my way, and I gave the kacheek my dagger.

Unnamed Kacheek: *_samurai fighting the other pirates*_

Gordy: ...You were kidding about the driftwood, right?

_Jacques and his crew had subdued the guards by surprise and overwhelming numbers (2 to 3), while Garin and his crew did the same (3 to 4). And Garin got his dagger back from the kacheek..._

_A few minutes later..._

Jacques: *_calls up to Garin*_ Permission to come aboard, Capitian?

Garin: What's the password?

Jacques: ...Password?

Garin: Yep! That's it! *_lets them aboard*_

Jim: *_mutters to self_* What a stupid password...

Garin: *_points to prisoners*_ We'll keep them in the brig until we can let them loose on some deserted island.

Gordy: Huh. There are more prisoners than I remember...like that shoyru. Does anyone remember that shoyru?

Talak: No, I don't...

Unnamed Kacheek: Or that mynci, I don't remember that mynci either...

Garin: And where did the krawk go?

Talak: CONFUSION!

Me: Aw crap, not again...

_Some time later..._

Garin: *_cleaning the ship along with his crew_* That's it. Make her ship-shape again!

Talak: *_somehow goes from cleaning to the cargo hold in some unexplained transition*_ Captain Garin! Come see what's in the cargo hold!

Garin: *_climbs down and sees weapons*_ That sly Scarblade. *_lightning crash_* The rubbish on deck was a cover. He's using the Black Pawkeet as an armoury!

Fire, Armin and Me: Armoury? WEAPONZZZZZ!

Jacques: *_takes two swords with an epic face_* When we meet 'im, we'll be ready.

Garin: *_climbing back up to the deck*_ We'd better head out to sea as quickly as we can. It won't be long before that fiend learns that we took back the ship.

_Garin's crew wasted no time in making the Black Pawkeet seaworthy, and before long the ship was under sail once more..._

Garin: We have the element of surprise. Still, we don't have enough force to meet Scarblade *_lightning crash_* OH MY FUCKING GOD WILL THAT _PLEASE_ STOP? We don't have enough force to meet him one-on-one.

Jacques: We may not 'ave a choice. Look! *_points_*

_The invasion of Maraqua had already begun!_

Fire: Urgh, will these cliffhangers _never_ end? I mean, come on!

Armin: Where's Echo?

_In the armoury/cargo hold..._

Me: *_playing with different weapons and singing_* A-well-a everybody's heard, about the bird! The bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word!

_Back in the office..._

Fire: Probably doing something stupid.

_Echo Note: By the way, "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen is probably the most repetitive, annoying song in the history of forever. Seriously. Just try listening to the whole song all the way through just once. You can Youtube it, but try the real song, not the Family Guy version. Unless you wanna watch the Family Guy version. Then feel free._


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey, it's Echo. Sorry for not updating yesterday. I was busy, and then my internet connection decided that it was "piss off Echo day"._

Chapter 14

Fire: *_sitting down and painting her nails_*

Me: *_to Armin_* Shh... *_sneaks up behind Fire and pies her in the face*_

Fire: *_wipes pie off of her face_* ECHO! WHAT WAS _THAT_ FOR?

Armin and Me: *_laughing_*

Fire: *_takes out her switchblade*_

Armin and Me: *_stop laughing immediately*_

Me: Aw come on, Fire.

Armin: It was just a joke!

Fire: Did you think that I _wanted_ to be pied?

Me: *_muttering_* Shadow liked being pied...

Fire: Well, here's a newsflash for you. I'm not Shadow, and I don't like being pied, _especially_ without any warning!

Me: Alright, alright, keep your bushy tail on.

Fire: *_deathglare, holds up switchblade*_

Me: *_sigh_* Chapter fourteen everybody.

_Fortunately, Scarblade's *lightning crash* ...*sigh* his lookouts did not spot the Black Pawkeet..._

Garin: We're not that far away, and we're the only thing in the ocean for miles. How can't they-

Jacques: Garin, I think zat you know by now zat you don't question zeese things that give us ze advantage. Now... *_looks through telescope_* Eet looks like we got underway not a moment too soon. Scarblade ees-

Garin: Wait wait wait...did you just say his name? And there was no lightning?

Jacques: I guess so...Scarblade.

Garin: Wow. I guess now we can say Scarblade *_lightning crash*_ ...Wait, what? How come it happens when _I_ say it?

Jim: Must be his accent. If the average neopet can't tell what he's saying, the same must go for the lightning trigger.

Jacques: So my accent _ees_ useful! So, Scarblade ees 'eading for ze lagoon zat we just left behind!

Garin: Set course for Maraqua. The Black Pawkeet is lighter and faster. We'll get there first and warn the Maraquans that...Jacques?

Jacques: Scarblade.

Garin: Is coming.

_The crew moved quickly to obey their captains command, and...Jacques?_

Jacques: Scarblade.

_Arrived at the cove, just as Garin predicted..._

Benny: The armoury ship is _gone_! Someone has stolen her and taken our store of weapons!

Scarblade: There is no time to search for her! We have enough armaments on board to launch our attack. Plus, we have our little secret...Hahaha...hahaha...mwahahahah...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

_Later, far out at sea..._

Jacques: We 'ave arrived at ze spot. Scarblade's sheeps are nowhere to be seen.

Garin: *_puts on his necklace_* Wait here. I'm going down to find Isca and warn her that the invasion is underway.

Jacques: I'll go with you! I still 'ave zat potion I stole from ze sea weetches!

Garin: Save it. This job requires only one messenger. Take care of my ship. If...Jacques?

Jacques: Scarblade.

Garin: Arrives before I get back, don't try to fight. Leave me here, I'll be safe in Maraqua. *_dives in*_

Me: Can it be? Is it..._it is!_ It really is! A swimming montage! A legit swimming montage!

Armin and Fire: _*party mode*_

Me: What to play, what to play...*_digs through tons of CDs_* Here we go! *_plays "The Red" by Chevelle...which by the way has strange lyrics as well_*

Garin: (singing) They say freak, when you're singled out. The red...well it filters through.

Me: (singing) So lay down, the threat is real. When his sight goes red again.

Everyone: (singing) Seeing red again. Seeing red again.

Fire: (singing) This change, he won't contain. Slip away, to clear your mind.

Armin: (singing) When asked, who made it show. The truth, he gives into most.

Garin: (singing) So lay down, the threat is real. When his sight, goes red again.

Me: (singing) So lay down, the threat is real. When his sight, goes red again.

Fire: (singing) So lay down, the threat is real. When his sight, goes red again.

Everyone: (singing/screaming) Seeing red again! Seeing red again! Seeing red again! Seeing red again! Seeing red again! Seeing red again! Seeing red again! See red!

Armin: (singing) They say freak, when you're singled out. The red...well it filters through.

Me: *_emotional_* A swimming montage. It's been so long...

Garin: Um, where am I?

Fire: I think there's a voiceover for that.

_Garin swam towards Maraqua, trying to remember the way he came before. But soon he became hopelessly lost..._

Garin: **Great. Perfect.**

_Suddenly, he heard a strange and mournful sound..._

Garin: *_covers ears*_ What is _that_? It sounds like a cat being strangled!

Me: Do the stupid thing and swim toward it.

Garin: Right. *_swims toward the sound and finds a cave with a very familiar looking sea-aisha_* Isca?

Caylis: Nope. This is her sister, Caylis. Who the hell are you?

Garin: I am Garin, captain of the Black P-

Caylis: The Black Pearl? I heard rumours that it was sailing around here-

Garin: No! Why does everyone think that my ship is the Black Pearl? It's the Black _Pawkeet_! Pawkeet! P-A-W-K-E-E-T!

Caylis: Dude, calm down. Jesus Christ, are _all_ surface dwellers as angry as you?

Garin: No, but there are some-I mean, I'm not angry! Just a bit tired. It's been a long week.

Caylis: Yeah. I don't want to hear about it, so just continue with the introduction.

Garin: Fine. I have come to warn Isca that a great invasion force is heading for Maraqua!

Caylis: What do I care? The Maraquans banished me years ago. Leave them to their fate!

Garin: Goddam, you sure hold a grudge...*_swims over, grabs her arm_* Wait. Please, I need to find Isca, I owe her my life. I can't just leave her.

Caylis: No one will listen to you, surface dweller, you do know that right?

Garin: Isca will! Caylis, if you really are Isca's sister, _please_, just do this for her. Maybe a really late birthday present or something.

Caylis: *_sigh_* Okay, for Isca. But you are a douche to think that they're actually going to listen to you.

_Caylis led Garin to the city of Maraqua...where he was immediately taken prisoner by the soldiers of the king..._

Garin: *_struggling_* No! No, I'm here to help you! Cay! CAY!

Caylis: *_just looks on sadly*_

Fire: Oh, would you look at that. Another cliffhanger...

Armin: Maybe it was a tactic used by TNT to see how suspenseful they could make this story.

Me: Who cares? WE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING SWIMMING MONTAGE! *_gets out the pie*_

Fire: Oh dammit!

Me: *_gives her a pie_* Go ahead, right in the face!

Fire: *_no hesitation, pies me in the face*_

Me: *_pies Armin_*

Armin: *_takes out the electric cattle prod*_

Me: *_takes out my chainsaw*_

Fire: _*backs away slowly*_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Fire: *_searching through the shelves_* Hey, has anyone seen my hair brush? I can't find it anywhere-

Me: Lost your brush and want to find it? There's an app for that.

Fire: ...What?

Me: Confused and don't want to be? There's an app for that.

Fire: Armin, what's she doing?

Armin: Echo's testing out the theory that you can relate some sort of imaginary app to anything anyone says.

Me: Like long, boring explanations? There's an app for that?

Fire: Like saying "There's an app for that"? There's an app for that.

Armin: Like making up imaginary apps? There's an app for that.

Me: Want me to write this chapter? There's no app for that, but we should still shut up anyway. Chapter fifteen, people!

_Garin was quickly brought before the king..._

Kelpbeard: What are you doing in New Maraqua, surface dweller?

Garin: I have come to warn you of danger, great king. A mighty sailing force is heading your way.

Kelpbeard: Yeah right. Why are you really here?

Garin: Um...to help fix the economy?

Kelpbeard: Enough of this bullshit, you are here to steal our secrets! How did you get here?

Garin: Is...A...A friend saved my life and brought me here a long time ago. I remembered the way...mostly...

Kelpbeard: There's so much BS in that story that we'll be knee deep in it for weeks! But if it is true, Isca is the only one reckless enough to do something like that. The "rebel phase", as it's called. Guards, find her and bring her to me.

Krawk Guard: So much work... *_leaves_*

Kelpbeard: And what is your part in this Caylis?

Caylis: Whoa! I thought only Garin got captured...

Kelpbeard: Need to capture Caylis? There's an app for that.

Caylis: I don't even know why I bothered to come help you! I have only ever been treated unfairly. Maybe there's a scrap of truth in Garin's story, but _you_ would never listen to an outsider!

Kelpbeard: How dare you! Guards, take this witch out of my sight!

Caylis: Ha! You already sent your guards away for Isca!

Kelpbeard: Need to get your guards back? There's an app for that.

Guards: *_appear_*

Caylis: SHIT!

Guards: *_take Caylis away*_

Other Guards: *_bring Isca in*_

Isca: Garin! What are you _doing_ here?

Kelpbeard: So he tells some truth. You brought him here, against my strict command!

Garin: Does this matter right now? Isca, Scar- um...Jacques?

Me: Not here, remember?

Garin: Um...Want to say a word but you can't because otherwise it adds an unwanted special effect? There's an app for that.

French-Accented Voice That Comes Out of Nowhere: Scarblade.

Garin: Yeah, he's planning to invade Maraqua. His ship with a thousand men aboard is already heading this way!

Isca: Oh no! *_shocked face_*

Kelpbeard: **Oh great**. _Another_ outsider brings danger to the people of Maraqua! I'm sure you already sold your story to that pirate fiend. Thanks to your meddling, land dweller, we must now prepare for war!

Isca: Oh no! *_shocked face*_

Kelpbeard: And Isca, for your betrayal, you are banned from Maraqua along with your sister. Guards, escort her to the city gates!

Isca: Oh no! *_shocked face_*

Garin: ...Is she a broken record or something?

Kelpbeard: Does it matter? Guards!

Kiko Guard: No! We're tired of doing all your dirty work and not getting any respect! Have you ever said "please" or "thank-you" to us? Nope! Never!

Kelpbeard: *_sigh_* Take them away, _please_.

Krawk Guard: Now _that_'_s_ more like it!

Kelpbeard: As for you, land dweller, I will throw you into the deepest dungeon in Maraqua, never to come out! Guards, take him away too, _please_!

Garin: Whoa! Come on man! That's a bit harsh!

Kelpbeard: This is war! I _need_ to be harsh!

_And so it came to pass that Isca was sent outside the protection of the city, like her sister before her..._

Isca: *_thrown outside the gates*_

Caylis: Issy!

Isca: Cay! *_hugs her and cries*_

Caylis: _*stroking her hair and comforting her*_

_While Garin was taken deeper into the city than he had ever been before..._

Garin: Hey, does this necklace stop working after a while? 'Cuz I don't wanna drown-

Acara Guard: Shut up! *_pokes him with spear*_

_Meanwhile, on the surface, Jacques watched the arrival of...Jacques?_

Jacques: Scarblade.

_'s fleet from a safe distance..._

Talak: Safe distance? We're, like, 20 meters away. If we can see them without binoculars, what's stopping them from-

Jacques: *_frying pan whacks him_* Shut up! So, ze villain 'as arrived. Come on, Garin. I 'ave a leetle score to settle with zat old son-of-a-beetch putain!

Fire: Need to find out what "putain" means, but you don't speak French? There's an app for that. _*looks it up_* Oh..._that's_ what it means...

_Meanwhile, on the Revenge..._

Benny: This is the spot, my captain, where we invaded Maraqua for the first time. The new city can't be far away.

Scarblade: Um, duh?

Benny: *_glare_*

Scarblade: *_glare, but with that creepy scar over his one eye, it's considerably scarier*_

Benny: *_craps himself*_

Mynci Pirate: *_laughs to self*_

Scarblade: Men! Batten down the hatches and strap yourselves down! We're going plundering! Please remember that the emergency exits are at the port and starboard of the ship! In case of a decrease in pressure, yellow oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling *_keeps going*_

Krawk Pirate: When do you think he'll remember that this isn't an airplane?

Mynci Pirate: Who knows?

Krawk Pirate: Wait...weren't we in the Black Pawkeet when it was recaptured and taken prisoner?

Mynci Pirate: Hey yeah...yeah, we were! What the hell _happened_?

Benny: *_going to the bathroom (or head, in nautical terms) because of the...incident earlier_* Need a way to get some, but not all, of your crew back? There's an app for that.

Scarblade: *_still going_* And we would like to remind you to not use any electronic devices during takeoff and landing because it interferes with the ship's signals. Thank you for choosing the Revenge, we hope you have a pleasant flight!

_There were many rumours about the Revenge. One was a tale of pirates who sailed beneath the waves..._

Scarblade: _*turns the wheel horizontally and spins it*_

_With a magical crew that could breathe underwater..._

Krawk Pirate: *_tying up the sails_* "Magical crew"? That's a gay excuse-

Brynn: *_frying pan whacks him_* GODDAMMIT DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!

Mynci Pirate: What the...How the hell did _she_ get here?

Brynn: Need to go hit someone like the liberal you are because they said "gay" in the pejorative way? There's an app for that. *_disappears_*

Krawk Pirate: ...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

_But very few had lived to witness the true terror of the pirate ship in all its glory!_

The Revenge Ship: *_goes underwater*_

Fire: Aaannnddd, cliffhanger.

Armin: **Surprise surprise.**

Me: Hate cliffhangers and want to feel better? Get a hobby.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Me: Here we go again...

_On the deck of the Black Pawkeet, Jacques is keeping a watchful eye on his enemy when he witnesses a remarkable transformation..._

Jacques: Sacre Bleu! What een ze world ees 'appening?

_Jacques watches as the Revenge plunges beneath the waves. Moments later, the Revenge has completely submerged, and everyone on board burns with a hatred that means doom for Maraqua..._

Jacques: *_to the other pirates_* Garin said 'e would be safe een Maraqua. But 'e could never 'ave dreamed anything like zis would 'appen! *_takes out sword_* Armez-vous! Zere are plenty of weapons below. We'll leave only eenough of you on board to keep ze Black Pawkeet afloat. We need to save ze people and our capitain! Now, 'oo ees with me?

Other Pirates: *_silence_*

Jubjub Pirate: What did he say?

Jacques: *_facepalm_* Ces idiots, ils sont impossibles...*_raises fists toward the sky_* Vive la Revolution!

Other Pirates: *_cheer_*

Jacques: Unbelievable. _Zat_ was all I needed to say.

Me: People understand that sentence, in most languages.

Jacques: *_takes out breathe-underwater potion*_ Zis potion will allow you to breathe underwater. Drink sparingly, we need to make zis last.

Talak: *_gets out the cups*_

Jacques: *_pours most pirates a glass_* To Maraqua, and our capitian Garin!

All Pirates With Potion: *_drink_*

Jacques: Zose of you who stay behind, keep ze sheep safe. Eef you are attacked, don't fight. Flee!

_While Jacques and his loyal shipmates follow...Jacques?_

Jacques: Scarblade.

_Down, Garin finds himself going deeper beneath the city than he had ever been._

Techo Guard: Into the cell with ya! *_throws Garin into the cell*_

Garin: *_lands on his face_* DAMMIT! WHY ARE PEOPLE _THROWN_ INTO DUNGEON CELLS? I'M A SUPERMODEL...GET ME OUTTA HERE!

_Luckily, the guards don't know that he has a Maractite dagger. Why would they suspect? No land dweller has even heard of the marvelous metal..._

Garin: *_slips the dagger between the ropes tying his wrists together_* And that suits me just fine! *_breaks free*_

_Passing by an open window, Garin seizes his chance..._

Garin: _*swims out the window*_

Acara Guard: Hey!

_Fortunately for Garin, the guards are too big to squeeze through the window easily..._

Techo Guard: Move it, fat-ass!

Acara Guard: Ey! I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!

Techo Guard: *_eye roll*_

_But Garin swims quickly away anyway, knowing that they'd not be too far away...once they stopped fighting, of course. Garin leaves Maraqua by the secret tunnel Isca showed him on his first visit to the city..._

Me: SWIMMING MONTAGE!

Fire: That's our fourth this story! Pay up, Armin! *_holds out hand/paw*_

Armin: Dammit. *_gives her 100 neopoints_*

Me: You _bet_ on the number of swimming montages there were going to be?

Fire: Does it matter right now?

Me: ...Nah, not really.

_Swimming montage #4_

Me: *_plays "Kids" by MGMT*_

Garin: (singing) You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it. Making Momma so proud. But your voice was too loud.

Me: (singing) We like to watch you laughing. You pick the insects off plants. No time to think of consequences.

Everyone: (singing) Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted.

Fire: (singing) The water is warm, but it's sending me shivers. A baby is born, crying out for attention. Memories fade, like looking through a fogged mirror.

Armin: (singing) Decision to decisions are made and not bought. But I thought it wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not.

Everybody: (singing) Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted.

Fire: How many times do we sing this?

Me: Not sure...

Everyone: (singing) Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of trees wanting, to be haunted. Control yourself, take only what you need from it. A family of treeeeeeeeesssssssssss.

Me: And we're done.

Garin: *_silence_*

Me: ...Garin?

Garin: I'm thinking this line.

Fire: *_eye roll*_ Say it out loud anyway.

Garin: I tried to warn the Maraquans, as I promised Isca. Their king is a fool. They deserve their fate. *_looks up_* WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT?

Fire: The Revenge. Duh.

_As Garin watches, the battle of New Maraqua begins..._

Kelpbeard: *_in epic Maractite armor*_ On, my loyal guards! Let the invaders have a taste of Maractite!

Scarblade: *_evil red glowing eyes*_ Death to Maraqua! Let that fat king know that he cannot ignore the will of Scarblade! *_lightning crash*_

Armin: Wait...wouldn't that lightning electrocute everyone in the water?

Fire: *_sigh_* Don't question it, Armin.

_And so the battle began, Maraquans fighting the crew members in epic combat- the chapter ends here..._

Armin: Not surprising.

Fire: I want a chocolate eclair. *_leaves_*


	17. Chapter 17

_Hey, it's Echo. Sorry for the short chapter. :(_

Chapter 17

Fire: Where's Armin?

Me: *_reading Waterlogged Book, despite the fact that there's no words in it_* Probably getting high somewhere.

Fire: But...But I thought we took away his coke with that intervention!

Me: It seemed a bit mean, and besides, I think it's funny when Armin gets high. And what's the worst he's _ever_ done while high?

Fire: _*takes out a list*_

Me: *_looks at it_* ...Well, there's no _permanent_ damage on this, so I'll let it slide.

Fire: Unbelievable!

Me: And here's chapter seventeen.

_On the far side of the city, Isca and Caylis also watch as...Jacques?_

Jacques: *_en route to Maraqua_* Scarblade.

_Begins his assault._

Isca: Come on, Caylis. We have to help our people!

Caylis: Oh hell no! All you'll do is get yourself killed! There is nothing we can do for them now. Besides, those sons-of-bitches banished us! Let's watch them get their karma thrown back into their faces! *_takes out soda and watches the action*_

Isca: *_crying underwater_* What have I done? This is all _my_ fault! *_sobs_*

Caylis: _*puts away soda and comforts her sister*_

Isca: And these seats are _terrible_! *_cries some more*_

_Floating near the secret tunnel, Garin watches the Maraquans battle the pirates..._

Garin: I shouldn't get involved in this. This isn't my fight.

Me: *_cough_* Coward! *_cough_*

Garin: Oh for the love of... Echo, will you _quit_ making all these stupid, unneeded, fucking annoying- Oh hey, it's Isca!

_With everyone's attention on the fighting, Garin slips past unseen by the battling armies..._

Isca: This is horrible!

Caylis: But these seats kick ass!

Garin: Isca!

Isca: AAAHHH! WADDAYA WANT FROM ME- Oh hi Garin! How did you escape?

Garin: Doesn't matter. I think that the Maraquans have other things on their minds right now.

Caylis: Good point.

Isca: We have to stop this! This is all _my_ fault! *_starts crying again*_

Caylis: *_**comforts her like the nice sister she is**_* It's not like we can do anything, though. In case you haven't noticed, there are three of us and a whole goddam army down there! _Two_ armies, actually!

Armin: (talking quickly) You sure are pessimistic you know that right?

Me: *_pats him on the back_* Good to have you back, Armin.

_Giant orange fish thing appears..._

Garin: Oh no! It's the Chasm Beast! If things weren't bad enough! _*pulls out dagger_* Don't worry Isca! I'll protect you!

Fire: *_sigh_* That's so romantic!

Isca: Wait wait wait! Garin! Stop! This isn't the Chasm Beast! It's _orange_ you douche! This is my pet, Goregas!

Garin: Your...pet? o.0

Isca: He must have been far away! *_pets Goregas_* I called him on the day we rescued Jacques.

Garin: He sure took his sweet time getting here. What took him so long?

Goregas: I was singing the Beastie Boys, so it took me a while.

Garin: What the...you _talk_?

Goregas: Nope. *_goes silent*_

Garin: ...The water pressure _must_ be going to my head.

Isca: *_not really paying attention to Garin and Goregas_* See Cay? The odds are getting better! Now we are four!

Caylis: If we are going to do something, we had better do it quick. The Maraquans are losing.

_What Caylis says is true. The Maraquans are being driven back, and...Jacques?_

Jacques: (distant) Scarblade!

_'s army is on the verge of entering the city itself..._

Scarblade: The battle's nearly over, and we've only just begun! At this rate, the city will be ours before sundown! On, you seadogs! Let them taste the sharpness of our steel!

_The villainous pirates surge forward, now that their captain has joined them, and before long, they had entered the city gates..._

Me: On three. One...two...three!

Fire and Armin: It's another cliffhanger!

Armin: (talking quickly) I hate cliffhangers I really do.

Me: I'm sure.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Fire: WHAT THE FUCK? *_angry_*

Me: *_goes to my name-carving corner to calm down*_

Armin: *_finally clean_* What's going on?

Fire: This is a _filler_ chapter! There's only _two_ pages!

Me: *_carving my name into the wall_* Why? Why can't we all just get along? Why can't we all just be crazy liberals?

Armin: ...What does that have to do with the filler chapter?

Me: *_continuing_* Why can't we all just accept each other and keep the hate to ourselves? Sure, we all complain sometimes, but why can't we just learn to suck it up and deal with it? *_stops carving and stabs the wall repeatedly*_

Fire and Armin: *_having a WTF moment*_

Fire: Now what?

Armin: Need Echo to stop acting more unstable than usual? There's antidepressants for that.

_A few antidepressants later..._

Me: Isn't the world beautiful?

Armin: *_looks at dose directions_* Crap, I think we gave her one too many.

Fire: I'll deal with this. *_frying pan whacks me*_

Me: Ow. *_still kinda drugged*_

Armin: Fire, it's up to _you_ to keep this parody going!

Fire: How?

Armin: By narrating.

Fire: Oh no. No. I don't write.

Armin: Why not?

Fire: I'm the idea person. I can think of many story ideas and the plotline, but I can't put them into a story. I'm a big-picture sort of person, I guess.

Armin: Then Happy Echo has to narrate.

Me: Relatively-in-a-Better-Mood Echo.

Armin: *_frying pan whacks me*_

Me: Normal Echo.

Armin: There we go!

_The Maraquan soldiers fight valiantly, but the pirate army is too strong..._

Swordsmaster Talek: Our army has been forced to retreat, sir.

Kelpbeard: Fuck that shit! Send in the third battalion, and give every soldier a Maractite sword!

Me: Wait...why didn't you give Battalions One and Two Maractite swords? Then you might have gotten the upper hand earlier!

Kelpbeard: Screw logic, this is war! This is mindless violence! This is Spart-

Swordsmaster Talek: No, it's not.

Kelpbeard: Right. This is Maraqua!

Swordsmaster Talek: Sir, our supply of Maractite weapons are low. To give an entire battalion such swords would empty the armoury!

Kelpbeard: Then empty it! If we don't defeat the pirates now, there will be no city left to defend!

Swordsmaster Talek: Your Majesty, speaking of which, where is your armor from the last chapter? You're back in your normal clothes!

Kelpbeard: I had to pee.

Swordsmaster Talek: …

Kelpbeard: What? _You_ were the one that asked!

Swordsmaster Talek: *_to the army_* Come on! We have the advantage now!

Maraquan Peophin: I thought we were losing...

_Meanwhile..._

Benny: So, they brought in reinforcements, eh? I'd better report this to the captain.

Me: Why aren't you in battle?

Benny: Um...

Armin: Are you chicken?

Benny: No! No, I just-

Me: Chicken! *_chicken imitation*_

Armin: *_same_*

Benny: *_pissed off*_

Fire: *_eye roll_* You are all so _juvenile_!

Benny: *_swims over to his captain, who, I thought, joined the battle, but apparently decided to leave the city after infiltrating it_* Captain! The enemy has redoubled their forces, and they appear to be armed to the teeth!

Scarblade: Then it's time to send in our own reserves!

_Three very deformed-looking Neopets, an acara, a zafara, and I think that's a cybunny in the middle, appear, loaded with WEAPONZZZZZ!_

_Not far away, Garin and company watch in horror as more pirates spew from the Revenge..._

Garin: So _now_ we're mentioned!

Isca: Barely!

Caylis: And the chapter ends _here_? _Here_ of all places?

Me: *_shrugs_* I didn't write this USELESS FILLER CHAPTER WITH _NO_ COMEDIC OPPORTUNITIES! *_anger mode_*

Fire: *_chewing_* Want some gum? *_holds out pack of gum*_

Me: _*back to normal*_ Yes please. *_takes a piece and starts chewing*_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Me: Now to poke fun at something Neopets related but not CoM related!

Isca: Talking talking talking, no one cares what I'm saying but I'm talking anyway, talking talki-

Caylis: OH SHIT! GOREGAS HAS SCOURGIES!

Garin: What? Where?

Caylis: *_points at piece of seaweed on Goregas' tail, which actually does look kinda like some of the crap from the scourgies_*

Isca: Oh no! Someone get him medical help!

Garin: To the hospital!

_Nothing happens..._

Caylis: Why did nothing happen?

Fire: There's no hospital underwater. And you don't have the time to go ashore to find one.

Armin: And possibly the most obvious reason of all...

Me: SCOURGIES DOESN'T EXIST! (seriously though, chapter 19, page 1, panel 1. Goregas' tail)

Isca: We have to fight Garin! It's now or never.

Garin: I know, I know...And I've never been one to run from a fight. Still, I wish we had more help...

Jacques: *_swimming down with the other crew members that came along_* You think I would miss a battle like zis, friend?

Me: Nice timing.

Garin: Jacques! The whole crew!

Jim: Actually, _most_ of the crew. We couldn't leave the Black Pawkeet alone on the surface so-

Garin: Shut up, Jim. Oh, who cares? GROUP HUG!

_One group hug later..._

Garin: Now we are a force to be reckoned with!

Caylis: **Yep. Nine people. We're saved now.**

Garin: *_epic face_* ATTACK!

Caylis: Hold on a minute. Shouldn't we, oh I don't know, THINK OF A MOTHERFUCKING PLAN FIRST?

Isca: Now Cay, supermodels are not known for their brains. Still, she's right Garin. You and your men will be with Goregas and me. We will take the pirates by surprise and try to make our way to the city gates.

Me: You sure thought of a plan quickly...

Isca: Someone has to take a message to Talek-

Gordy: Talak's up on board.

Isca: ...No, I said Talek. Talek.

Unnamed Kacheek: Huh. Talek, Talak. I wonder if TNT noticed that-

Isca: Back to what I was saying, someone has to get a message over to Talek or the king! _*grasps Caylis' hands_* You know the secret passages. Please Caylis! I need you!

Caylis: And I needed you when I was banished. Do your _own_ dirty work, sister.

Jacques: Eef she won't do eet, I will. Just tell me ze way.

Caylis: _*crosses arms like the stubborn person she is*_ Good luck with that, Frenchie.

Isca: *_sigh_* Caylis, please. Pleeeeeeeeease?

Garin: Leave her. We have a battle to win!

_And with that, Goregas launches his attack...Garin and the others helped too..._

_Meanwhile..._

Swordsmaster Talek: My lord, our numbers are dwindling, we must strike fast!

Kelpbeard: _*thinking about it...and that's all he's doing*_

_Meanwhile, Jacques has become lost in the murky waters, until..._

Jacques: *_pained expression on his face, 'cuz he can't see*_

Caylis: *_grabs his arm_* Vous avez eu quelques problèmes, n'est ce pas?

Jacques: Whaaaaaaat? You speak French?

Caylis: *_shrugs_* When you're banished from civilization, you get bored really easily.

_Flashback..._

Younger Caylis: *_listening to Rosetta Stone for French* _

_Back to now, and a short while later, Caylis and Jacques find Swordsmaster Talek..._

Swordsmaster Talek: Caylis? Is that you?

Caylis: The one and only.

Swordsmaster Talek: And who is this?

Jacques: Jacques.

Swordsmaster Talek: That accent is gonna give me some trouble...

Caylis: Look, I'll do the talking, and lets just not question why you haven't kicked us out already.

_Caylis told Swordsmaster Talek about the Black Pawkeet's crew and Isca's plan. The swordsmaster listens intently..._

Swordsmaster Talek: This is great news! Now my men and I can attack from the side! We can squash those pirates inbetween!

Caylis: Isn't it "in between"?

Jacques: Apparently not.

Swordsmaster Talek: *_pulls out two Maractite swords, despite the fact that he said that he emptied the armoury_* Here. You will both need a good weapon.

Jacques: Merci. *_takes one*_

Caylis: No thanks. I have something more powerful than that sword. *_blue glowing hand*_

Jacques: *_surprised*_ You know magique too?

Caylis: I repeat. Banned from civilization. Bored.

Jacques: Still, zat's really amazing!

Caylis: *_blushing slightly_* Thanks.

Fire: OMG! CAYLISxJACQUES! CAYLISxJACQUES! *_fangirl mode*_

Armin and Me: *_exchange annoyed glances_*

Swordsmaster Talek: Save it for after the war, you two. Now, what are we waiting for? We've got pirates to fight!

Me: ALRIGHT! _*takes out chainsaw*_

Armin: *_takes out his knife, because an electric cattle prod underwater is not a good idea, what with the seawater...basically everyone would get electrocuted if he used it*_

Fire: *_takes out machine gun*_

Me: Wait. We're short one.

Shadow: _*comes in_* Did you _really_ think that I'd miss this? *_takes out rocket grenade launcher*_

Me: We're ready!

Caylis: Now, lets KICK SOME ASS!

_Echo Note: When Caylis was talking in french earlier, it wasn't the exact line from the CoM plot. I was just paraphrasing. But it's close enough. And I gotta say, translators aren't very reliable. I tried to translate a verb using Google Translate, and it gave me a translation that I knew was wrong. So don't always count on translators. This has been a Public Service Announcement from Echos in my head._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_In the midst of battle..._

People of the Narration Office(Me, Fire, Armin and Shadow): _*fighting of as many motherfucking pirates as we can...a lot, in other words*_

Fire: I never really was a war sort of person, but no one, _no one_ is going to destroy Maraqua! _*punches a pirate in the jaw*_

Me: *_takes the rifle that I have slung over my shoulder_* YOU PIRATES WANT SOME OF THIS?

Some Pirates: *_run away*_

Me: *_laughing_*

Armin: What?

Me: *_points at rifle_* It's loaded with blanks! There's no _real_ bullets in there!

Shadow: *_aiming the rocket grenade launcher at the Revenge_* Good idea too, if you keep it over your shoulder. *_shoots, hits the side of the Revenge_* YES!

Armin: Nice shot!

Shadow: Aw, thanks!

_The startled pirates have nothing to combat Caylis' magic..._

Caylis: EAT BLUE MAGIC SHIT, BITCH! *_sends out multiple magic blasts*_

Jacques: *_checking Caylis out*_

Swordsmaster Talek: Hey Jacques, focus on the battle, m'kay?

_Distracted and terrified, the pirates become easy targets for Talek and his men..._

_Meanwhile..._

Kelpbeard: *_back in his kick-ass Maractite armor_* I hoped I wouldn't have to shed blood again, but someone needs to stop Scarblade's *_lightning crash_* OH MY GOD SHUT UP! His tyranny.

Me: I think I know why you're running out of Maractite!

Kelpbeard: Really? Why?

Me: You made that armor, fat ass.

Kelpbeard: *_pissed, but decides to act kingly instead of exploding_* Shouldn't you be in combat?

Me: Yeah, probably. I've always loved the army look.

Fire: **You don't say.**

Me: What?

Fire: Echo, you wear camouflage pants, a black shirt, have a rifle slung over your back-

Me: Get to the point, Fire.

Fire: You look like some sort of female sniper without her hair in a ponytail.

Me: Exactly what I was aiming for! Yay!

Kelpbeard: *_wondering what the fuck is going on*_

_Meanwhile..._

Garin: Forward, brave friends! Time to rid these seas from that rotten...Jacques?

Jacques: *_looks away from Caylis_* Scarblade.

Garin: Once and for all!

Everyone: ALRIGHT!

_Meanwhile...again..._

Kelpbeard: _*attacking one of the pirates*_

Swordsmaster Talek: My lord! This is no place for you!

Kelpbeard: *_epic close-up to his eyes_* I have not forgotten how to fight, my boy.

Swordsmaster Talek: Boy? Huh, I thought I was older...You know, being a swordsmaster and having this beard thing...

_The sight of their king fighting alongside them gives the Maraquan forces renewed hope, (despite me thinking that they would lose hope because they had to resort to having their king fight at all...) and they began to push the pirates back..._

Kelpbeard: Talek, I need you and your men to help me get to...um...

Swordsmaster Talek: Jacques?

Jacques: Scarblade!

Kelpbeard: Yeah, to him. It's the only way to end this war for good!

Swordsmaster Talek: Of course, my lord.

_Jacques and Caylis create a diversion..._

Jacques: Tour Eiffel!

Pirates: ...What?

Caylis: Charles de Gaulle!

Jacques: Gaufres et sirop!

Caylis: Baguette!

Pirates: What are they _saying_?

_While Kelpbeard and his men swim away from the battle..._

Pirate Shoyru: Intruders! Approaching the ship!

Swordsmaster Talek: Well, looks like we lost the element of surprise...

Kelpbeard: Who knew that they'd put a lookout? Well? That's about the most unlikely thing I've ever heard! Pirates protecting their ship! Who would have guessed?

Armin: I can't tell if he's really that stupid, or if Echo just forgot to bold-ify his lines.

Me: *_war cry, still fighting pirates*_

Swordsmaster Talek: We might as well attack the ship anyway.

_Another battle follows..._

Kelpbeard: _*attacking the Pirate Blumaroo like the crazy bastard he is*_ Speak, scum! Where is that son-of-a-bitch...Jacques?

Jacques: (distant) Scarblade!

Scarblade: *_comes out of the ship*_ What have we here? A fat little king-

Fire: Wait wait wait...Fat _and_ little?

Me: Talk about an oxymoron.

Armin: Out of curiosity, what is an oxymoron?

Me: _*speaking in a monotone*_ An oxymoron is a pair of contradictory words found next to each other used to describe the same person, place or thing in order to create a desired effect.

Fire and Shadow: o.0

Scarblade: ...Anyway, we have this idiot king who finally comes to save his people, huh? You don't have a chance!

_Meanwhile, the Maraquan army led by Caylis and Jacques is pushing the invaders further back away from Maraqua and towards Garin and his men..._

Caylis: _*magic hands*_

Isca: WTF my sister can do _that_?

_As the tide of the battle turns (the pirates are stuck in between the two other armies, in other words), the realisation slowly dawns on the pirates that their captain is elsewhere...and they have nowhere to run..._

_Up on the Revenge..._

Swordsmaster Talek: *_fighting_* Bring on the next scoundrel!

Maraquan Peophin: Anyone would think you were enjoying this, sir.

Swordsmaster Talek: Well...maybe a little...

Me: Hell, I know _I_ am! _*continues waving my chainsaw around like a maniac*_

_As night falls for the rest of Neopia, King Kelpbeard begins his battle, determined to free his kingdom once and for all..._

Me: Wait..._another_ cliffhanger?

Fire: Don't tell me this is _still_ surprising you.

Me: No, but that means...THE BATTLE'S OVER! AAAHHH! *_panic mode*_

Armin: Shadow? Fire? You with me on this one?

Shadow: *_takes out frying pan_* Hell yeah!

Fire: *_also takes out frying pan_* Count me in!

Armin: *_also also takes out frying pan*_ Lets go!

_And they all frying pan whack the Pant Devil. What? Why not? We all hate that son-of-a-whore!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Alright you crazy kids, here's the last chapter! (or is it? Nah, I'm talking about the End Credits.)_

Chapter 21

_And so it all comes down to this..._

People of the Narration Office: *_get bored of watching the trapped pirates doing nothing and choose to watch the battle going on between Kelpbeard and the other guy WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS*_

_The battle rages onward as King Kelpbeard and Captain you-know-who exchange blows..._

Me: *_plays that song from Pirates of the Caribbean that they play when something epic is happening (You know, that one...that has no words so I can't type the lyrics, but you know what I'm talking about, right? Right?) as background music*_

Scarblade: I will slice you to smithereens and feed you to my Pirakeet!

Random n00b: Isn't it "parakeet"?

Me: *_frying pan whacks him_* Get outta here!

Kelpbeard: Silence, you villainous scum!

Armin: These people can't trash-talk to save their lives...

Kelpbeard: *_raising sword*_ I swore that I would never take another life, but for _you_ I will make an exception!

Me: A little formal, but threatening nonetheless.

_With lightning reflexes, Captain Scarblade *lightning crash* AW FUCK IT! He manages to escape and knock the king off-balance. Wasting no time, he calls for his men to do the same to their opponents..._

Scarblade: *_now has only his pirates on the Revenge*_ Foolish king! You may have won this time, but _nobody_ will _ever_ defeat me!

Me: Wait wait wait...You_ give up_? What the crap, man?

Scarblade: No, I am merely making a villain's departure! Now, good day to you!

Swordsmaster Talek: Shall I go over there and teach that douchebag a lesson, sire?

Kelpbeard: No, my friend. Enough fighting has taken place. He will not dare to set foot into Maraqua again.

Me: But...but he just said...nobody can defeat him..._What?_

Kelpbeard: Look, Echo, I know what I'm talking about.

Me: And why didn't he die? Why did no one die?

Swordsmaster Talek: Well, this is a children's site.

Me: Disney makes children's movies, and the villain _always_ dies in those! Almost always, anyway! Why TNT? Why only kill off villains in the _old_ plot comics? Or random bystanders like Nox? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

_Without Scarblade to guide them-_

Garin: Whoa! Did...did you just say..._Scarblade_?

Isca: There's...there's no lightning!

Caylis: So, we can say Scarblade now?

Me: Scarblade!

Armin: Scarblade!

Fire: Scarblade!

Shadow: Scarblade!

Kelpbeard: Yes, it seems that when he lost the battle, his magical aura that triggered the lightning diminished-

Me: You're starting to sound like Blind Ogrin Guy.

_Without Scarblade to guide them, the rest of the pirates are quickly captured. The king makes a grand speech about how grateful he is to all his citizens and other shit, (nevermind the possible losses) and then he calls for Isca, Caylis, Garin and Jacques..._

Kelpbeard: *_patting Goregas_* Who knew that this little Gulper would become so brave. I thank you Isca, and apologise for misjudging you earlier. Your quarters are yours to keep if you wish.

Isca: I wholeheartedly accept your apology without a single thought towards your banishment of me earlier. But I will only return if Caylis is granted a full pardon as well.

Kelpbeard: But of course! We all saw how bravely Caylis fought today. She used her powers to help save Maraqua and is welcome here anytime.

Caylis: I know what life is like in the city, and it's not for me. You simply couldn't understand. I couldn't live here.

Kelpbeard: Brave Garin-

Garin: *_bowing_* He called me brave! :)

Kelpbeard: For your help, you are absolved of all crimes.

Garin: And?

Kelpbeard: The gates of the city are open to you anytime you wish to enter.

Garin: AND?

Kelpbeard: *_sigh_* And you can keep the dagger you stole...

Garin: Alright!

Kelpbeard: As for the rest of you pirates-

Jacques: *_to other pirates*_ 'e means us.

Kelpbeard: You have taught me not to judge at first sight. You can come here anytime you want. Just don't steal from us. Really. I mean it. And, in the meantime, here's some presents!

Garin: Presents? NO WAY- Oh wait...this is coral.

Jacques: But eet's pretty corail!

Garin: *_facepalm_*

Jacques: *_holding on to some coral. No joke. Chapter 21, page 3, panel 6. Coral_* Ze members of ze Black Pawkeet await your orders, Capitain Garin.

Garin: Then it's time we set off!

Isca: Hold up there, buddy. You can stay here. The power of the necklace will never fade-

Garin: Well _that's_ a relief!

Isca: And you may live in luxury forever, here in Maraqua.

Garin: No thanks. That's no life for me. What I need is pirating and adventure, not silk sheets and politics.

Caylis: Thank you! My thoughts _exactly_!

Garin: We'll visit when we can! Oh, and Isca? I want my earrings back.

Isca: *_sighs, gives him his earrings_*

Garin: _*puts them back in*_ Sweet!

Jacques: Goodbye!

Caylis: Au-revoir, Frenchie!

Jacques: *_grins_*

Fire: *_fangirl mode*_ CaylisXJacques! But this plot really didn't do so well for IscaXGarin...

Garin: Well, I guess we'll be seeing you later then. Back to pirating, pillaging, plundering and all that.

Isca: Oh, he's...he's...he's just...INCORRIGIBLE!

Me: You know, Isca, this is your problem. Don't try to change people. Just let them be who they are.

Isca: _*flips me off*_

Me: HEY! Do that again, and I'll have a crazy usul named Fire-

Isca: Do what? _Fangirl_ me to death?

Me: I have not yet unleashed the true power of Fire.

Isca: Try me!

Me: *_shrugs_* You asked for it. Fire, she's all yours.

Fire: *_steps forward, cracks her knuckles, shakes out her arms, clears throat and takes a deep breath*_ Isca...YOU'RE A- *_continuous bleep drowns out her speech*_

Isca: :0

Fire: *_still going, and adding in some hand gestures*_

Everyone Except Shadow and Me: o.0

Fire: _*still going*_

Shadow and Me: *_kinda smiling_*

Fire: *_still going_, _stops_* EAT IT, BITCH! *_gasps for breath*_

Shadow: *_applauds_*

Me: *_ruffles Fire's hair_* This is why I named her "Fire".

Fire: Because I BURN!

Isca: *_opens mouth to say something, then just closes it and shakes her head*_

Me: Well, that just about wraps it up. Now for the final voiceovers.

_Before long, Captain Garin had returned to the sturdy timbers of the Black Pawkeet, and they set sail once more towards new adventures..._

Garin: What new adventures?

Me: Huh?

Jacques: Eet ees true. We 'ave not 'ad even a cameo een ze next plots. Eet's like we 'ave been forgotten.

Fire: So TNT _lied_?

Armin: _Again_?

Me: Don't worry! TNT may have forgotten you, but Echo hasn't!

The End

To be continued...

_Echo Note: In case you were wondering what happened to Garin's camera crews, they were left on Scurvy Island. They got back to Neopia Central eventually. Eventually.  
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	22. End Credits

Me: Need to find out what the hell my references mean? There's this for that.

The End Credits!

Me: And yes, they're back! Dontcha just love them end credits? Now, because you people are now waiting for meh sequel, here's some more shit that's gonna go down...

What's Gonna Happen In "Just Another Stupid Adventure"

Me: And yes, that will be the title. "Just Another Stupid Adventure". Like it? It's funny 'cuz it's true.

Garin and Jacques decide to come along...

So do Isca and Caylis, but later...

The characters (and me) need to go through the Chambers of WTF?...

Fighting in a war (War scenes = Awesomeness)...

Shadow and Fire's younger sister makes an appearance...

Oh my God, Brynn's helmet killed Kenny! (You BASTARD!)...

Since this story was _horribly_ lacking in them, MONTAGES GALORE!...

"Bonding time", in the cabin of the Black Pawkeet and the Deserted Fairground (I'll let you wonder what that means)...

Airport security _really_ gets on our nerves...

Someone gets shot with a bullet. _Directly in the heart_...

What happens in Neopia Central will never, ever, _ever_, EVER, _EVER_ stay in Neopia Central...

Stupid people doing stupid things...

And random other shit that I will think up on the spot when I write this...

Me: And I'm _not_ (I repeat, not) going to write some other plot parody before this. But I will probably parody future plots, depending on how...parodiable they are. You know. Parodiable. (?) And, of course, I'm going to finish TFR on Facebook first.

Songs Used

"My Best Theory" by Jimmy Eat World

"Black Heart Inertia" by Incubus

"I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan (background music)

"Help Is On the Way" by Rise Against (referenced and kinda sang)

"Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles (referenced)

"Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen and sung by Peter Griffin, among others

"The Red" by Chevelle

"Kids" by MGMT

That song from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (don't know the name)

Me: Sadly a very short list there.

References

Me: More stuff that I don't own.

Neopets, characters, etc.

Pirates of the Caribbean is referenced throughout the story.

"Woohoo!" and "M'kay" are still Simpsons and South Park references, respectively.

Star Wars is referenced in chapter 1.

The movie "Stand By Me" is referenced in chapter 1 (Garin's..."joke").

Still in chapter 1, Clue and "Who Killed Mr. Boddy?" are referenced.

I also mention the BP oil spill.

In chapter 2, the Guinness Book of World Records is mentioned.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. I'm not sure if that's a direct reference to something or not.

The "Hey, I caught it! :D" is referenced _again_ in this story.

In chapter 3, Tarzan and George of the Jungle are both referenced.

Sugar hangovers exist. I'm not kidding. (Not a reference, just thought that I'd point that out)

In chapter 4, Isca sings "Just keep swimming", like Dory from Finding Nemo.

In chapter 4, Inception is also referenced.

Still in chapter 4, Atlantis is mentioned.

In chapter 7, McDonald's and Burger King are referenced.

In chapter 9, King Triton from The Little Mermaid and Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles make an appearance.

In chapter 10, there's a parody of most informational videos.

In chapter 10, the movie 300 is referenced with its use of "This is Sparta!"

Still chapter 10, "Blackout" by Linkin Park is referenced with its use of "Fuck it are you listening?"

In chapter 13, Peter Griffin's performance of "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen was used once again.

Lois Griffin is also mentioned in chapter 13.

Still in chapter 13, Spongebob Squarepants is referenced.

In chapter 15, and later throughout the story, "There's an app for that" from those iPhone commercials.

In chapter 15, Scarblade goes over airplane security procedures.

In chapter 16, "Vive la Revolution!" isn't really a reference to anything in particular, but it's definitely a well known phrase.

In chapter 16, Garin yells "I'm a supermodel...Get me outta here!". This is a reference to I'm a celebrity...Get me outta here! on TV.

Still in chapter 16, the argument between the two guards is _extremely_ similar to the arguments between Kyle and Cartman from South Park. (fat ass, big-boned etc.)

In chapter 17, the Beastie Boys are mentioned.

In chapter 19, Rosetta Stone is mentioned.

In chapter 20, the Eiffel Tower and Charles de Gaulle are mentioned.

Disney is mentioned in chapter 21.

Me: And that's it.

_Echo Note: So...I'm gonna ask you all to do the same thing as last time. Please tell me one thing that was good and one thing that was bad AND/OR rate this story out of ten (1 being terrible, 10 being OMFG SO AWESOME!) AND/OR pie me in the face. I would really appreciate it if you pied me in the face. And the feedback is nice too, because I want to know what is good, and what I need to change. THANX 4 READIN'! Take it away, Mr. Coconut!_

_Mr. Coconut: GOOD NIGHT!  
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